Sri Lankan Airlines - On the Hot Seat

Family member (FM) and I decided to go on our annual trip to India last week. I searched around for a well priced ticket - Kingfisher was a tad expensive at USD184 return, India Express didn't fly to city B, we really didn't want to experience the splendour of Air India so we turned to our trusted Sri Lankan airlines. There had been much ado about this hot seats business and we were happy to learn that a return would cost us just LKR13,000.

Of course, I had no grand expectations about the flight experience having been a frequent flyer with the airline and seen firsthand its demise into a substandard carrier over the years. As written about in a previous post, my biggest complaint about the airline was the inhospitality of the crew, the inedible food and just the general demographic who fly the carrier (leading to excess noise and a somewhat marketplace environment). Anyway since it was just a 1 hour flight and not the usual 10 hour grind, I didn't have much of a problem in enduring this.

So FM and I packed our bags, hailed a taxi and went to the airport. There is now added security at the airport with some bus transfer business which sort of led me to question 'isn't the war meant to be over?'. Anyway, kudos to the security fellows for doing their job and luckily we didn't have to get on the (rather dirty) bus. Checked in proceeded smoothly, no longer were there the long queues of the past. The counters seemed blissfully empty. Although I don't think this is blissful for the Sri Lankan Airlines topline. Hung around the airport for the mandatory 1.5 hours, finally got the boarding pass torn and stood in line to the aircraft.

Enter the aircraft. It was one of those small fellows - A320 i think, the business class section looked as always quite comfortable. Got shoved into the cattle class, and imagine our suprise. No longer were there the (somewhat dirty) blue upholstery on the tiny seats. Instead, facing us were row upon row of red leathery plastic seat covers. FM says its what they use to cover hospital beds. I say it looks like a private bus.

Sat down - there was no cushion. I suffer from back pain however due to the absence of cushions, had to sit straight upright through the entire flight. Gone were the seat reclines. Gone were the little head resters. Gone were the leg rests. Oh did I mention, people had wrote on the seat covers (much like a bus)? Gone were the magazines and gone - a little alarmingly - were the safety precaution sheets, the vomit bag and the likes.

Here my friends lay a truly budget aircraft. The crew were as inhospitable as always. The stewardess who served us had no incling of a smile. The food was as terrible. In fact, any redeeming quality Sri Lankan airlines had - had brutally gone out the window. Freefalling towards airline hell at a steady 600 km/h.

Its sad to see something that we were once proud of fall from such great heights into such pitiful oblivion. But one thing for sure, with those red seat covers - those seats look definetely 'HOT'.

The Culture of Celebrity

If it were not for the media would Princess Diana and Michael Jackson be alive today? What defined a celebrity before the current era of paparazzi? Does their existance do us, the people, more harm than good?

The answers to these questions neither come easy nor are simple. Princess Diana sped to her death away from who she perceived as paparazzi. The necessity to shield her private life away from the 'Sauron' like eye of the public whisked her directly into the open arms of death. Similarly, Michael Jackson's final years were plagued with negative publicity which is a certain cause of his fatal addiction to prescription drugs.

The often 'good cop, bad cop' routine played by the fickle media leaves the lives of these celebrities wide open to public autopsies. The constant acceptance and now the daily ritual of preying on celebrity has given birth to a host of new business models, including gossip websites. What happened to the era when celebrities were reverred for their talents and their on screen persona? Their private lives remained as such, private. People saw them at premieres or interviews or at award shows thus wrapping them in that alluring shroud of mystery. Whilst also allowing them the honor of privacy in their daily lives.

In this era, the declining readership of print newspapers induce the editors to obtain more 'readable' material from the paparazzi and the increasing popularity of the internet propels the disbursement of such material to a wider audience. Angelina Jolie, in an era gone by, would have been likened to Grace Kelly or Jackie O. However, we can now even obtain extensive analysis of the veins in her arms on certain days.

A similar paparazzi culture has given claim to a fame to a host of otherwise forgotten individuals. In the past, Lindsay Lohan would possibly not have any claim to fame - she would be a one hit wonder. Now, without a single good production in the pipeline and almost broke, she remains in the forefront of celebrity news for her junkie lifestyle. Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie and a host of others manipulated the glitz of their families to obtain the focus of these cameras. It is difficult to respect and adore the art of these artistes when you have seen their underwear. What art can most of these celebrities speak of? Celebrities for the most part used to comprise of artistes. This is no longer the phenomenon.

Although an ardent fan of MJ's music, I never looked at nor paid attention to the paparazzi spin of his life that was potrayed by the media for the past few years. Thus I was able to retain the magic that his art cast on my life since childhood. This retention and this pure adoration for an artiste's work and for the gifts he had given us, is what makes it difficult for me to accept his sudden demise. I also believe this is what makes MJ the last true celebrity. Someone adored all over the world, not for the news they generated on one day by wearing a certain type of clothing but for their art - which in the end is what will remain for years to come.

It is a shame to see that people who have brought moments of peace to our lives through their work in movies or music, are now subjugated to our constant analysis and ridicule. If this brings about a phenomenon that we no longer see good pieces of art or music that has soul, it is as much our fault (for feeding the paparazzi the fuel to satisfy our thirst for celebrity gossip) as much as anyone elses.

Heaven Exists..

I really hope so.

Just so that Michael Jackson can look down on today on the world and see how much he was loved. If he didn't know it whilst alive, I pray he sees it now.

R.I.P. MJ

Another Day Is Gone...

So I've read most of the available news channels (that I'm interested in), looked at the gossip sites, searched for more interesting jobs, looked up my college application a little bit more and now I'm a tad bored. The boyfriend is missing since he's got visitors and I'm left to my own devices.

So maybe I'll start a poll. Who else is terribly bored?

In Death, He Is Bigger Than Life

Over the past few days, I have spent a lot of time listening to MJ's songs, watching his videos, reading about him. The last time I must have been this focussed on him was probably when I was 9 or 10. One thing is certain, the more I listen and the more I see, the more of my childhood I remember. And I believe this is the reason that Michael Jackson will be legendary, he is part of our childhood. We feel his loss stronger than other generations as it feels as if this is the death of our childhood. And he will live forever because he is so connected to so many of us in a way that has never occured for later generations.

I was reading the Wikipedia entry on MJ yesterday, and suddenly I remembered! In 1986 (I was 2), there was a 3D 'cinema' (more like a tiny tent) at Sathutu Uyana. The first and last time I ever went to Sathutu Uyana was to watch a movie in this 3D cinema. I remember quite vividly Michael Jackson flying out of the screen at me, and me being petrified and crying and my parents having to leave the cinema. Up till this day, when I drive past that part of the park, I look at it and remember this occasion. The Wikipedia entry made it clear - the movie I was so frightened by was 'Captain EO' - MJ's 3D movie venture which somehow found its way to little Sathutu Uyana in Sri Lanka. So my earliest memory of MJ was when I was 2.

We have moved houses several times since I was 10, so most of my things are packed up in boxes. When I googled the album covers of Bad and Dangerous, I realised not only did I own these albums but I had the biggest poster of Bad (above picture) in my room, when I was 7 or 8. And it was this picture that was my first crush. Looking back at all his 'looks', I believe MJ was at his most 'stud'liest then. I remember arguing with my mother when I was around the same age, that Michael Jackson is and forever will be the 'King of Pop' as Elvis was the 'King of Rock and Roll'. Somehow this tag was less from studying of musical theory but more from wanting to create a musical kingdom where Madonna, incidentally was classified as my 'Queen of Pop'.

When I was around 9, I remember expressing to a friend who was older than me that I was in love with MJ and she telling me that he was around 30 years older to me. And soon afterwards, I remember being heartbroken as he married Lisa Marie Preistley.

Back in the day, we did not have cable nor internet. MTV and VH1 was something watched during summer holidays abroad. My mother had the great intellect to videorecord tapes of MTV UK for me so that I could watch (the same videos repeatedly) once I return to Sri Lanka. So in these videos that I watched for countless hours in my childhood was 'Thriller' (I was scared of that one and chose many a times to fast forward through the zombies), 'They Don't Really Care About Us' (I banged the table with much gusto), 'Black or White' (Very cool those changing faces), 'Remember the Time' (the Queen is so beautiful!), 'The Way You Make Me Feel' (what was he doing?!) and several others. Re-watching them now brings back memories of my old house, my old tv room, and the innocence of that time.

My friendships when I moved to a new school were cultivated through the similar tastes in music. We all loved Michael Jackson, for many of us he was our first crush. The boys loved him more than the girls did, but I loved him as much as the boys did so there! a connection to make friends with these smelly creatures. That have cooties. We danced to his songs at parties, I danced to his songs at home, I belted out 'You Are Not Alone' for the neighbours to complain. The 'Earth Song' brought tears to my now teenage eyes.

I moved to university and 'Billie Jean' was the craze, even after all those years. The number of nights, we rocked the dance floor to this song. With the wrong guy after the wrong drink. Driving in the car with an ex, 'Liberian Girl' plays on his CD player and he mentions how it reminds him of me. (I don't know why but hey so gullible!). Watched the Martin Bashir interviews whilst at university, tuning in without fail for the first and second installments and seethed with anger at Bashir for making a mockery of MJ.

NEVER for ONCE believe MJ did anything dispicable and wrong as he was accused of.

Yes, there are times - many a times - in my childhood and whilst growing up, that Michael Jackson returned to the background. As more hip and better looking artistes appealed to our growing levels of hormones. Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys replaced Michael Jackson's Bad poster. Walkman played songs of Britney Spears or Boyzone. Yes, there were people who imitated MJ, who loved him WAY more than I did but that does not mean I loved him any less. As harsh as it sounds, if my teen idol Nick Carter were to drop dead tomorrow, I doubt I'd shed a tear. (Yes, thats harsh but its true.)

But Michael Jackson remained, time and time again he returned to the forefront of my life, and never once left it. My tears over the past few days are for him. Who marked my life's many occasions with his presence, allowed me to understand and truly love music, allowed me the opportunity to create links with others through our mutual love of him, allowed me to enjoy my best nights dancing to his music. My tears are for the icon that made my life so beautiful with his creativity.

And, ironically, I know I am not alone in these feelings. I just wish Michael was alive to see how much we loved him. And that we only failed to show it whilst he was alive simply because thats our human way. We fail to show the people in our lives everyday how much we love them, so how was it easier to show him - who was going through trials and tribulations so many miles away. However, I know that his last concert bookings would have shown him. That no matter what the press through at him, what the money mongering heathens accused him of, the fact that 10 concert dates were increased to 50 FULLY SOLD OUT concert dates meant that his fans still ADORED him.

Your life made our lives beautiful.

You will live forever in our memories and hearts.

Rest in Peace.

IMMORTAL

He will live forever.

His life was conflicted. His music was greatness. He is a legend. And his memory will live on.

Michael Jackson was my first love. His music was what captured my 7 year old heart. His dance style echoed in my brain. 

I loved him no matter what the scandal. what the gossip. what the interview. what crazy behaviour. 

I am glad I lived during his time. 

May he rest in peace.

Viva La Vida

Who else thinks that some people in our country should listen to the lyrics of this song? It captures the transience of power beautifully.

I've included the lyrics below

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

A journey - from 2006 to 2009

It's been over three years since I've begun this blog and close to 100 posts. And I'm glad I started it.

I first started blogging out of curiousity. Also, I found that all that time I spent on the tube and wandering around London, I had a lot of time to think and all these things were happening in my life and I needed to make sense of it all. What I find when looking back is the majority of my posts during this time have been about occurrances in my life. What I have felt, what I have done, my hopes, my dreams - yes, as idealistic as it sounds.

Then I left London and slowly my posts started to be more observational of other things - be it politics, traditions and just generally life in Sri Lanka. Also key to this change is that less things have happened to me since I moved back. Life in Colombo is so easy and its where we grew up so there's nothing really big happening here. No life changing moves or people or ideas. Just everyday things. Also I think life just got easier. Less problems, more love in my life. So I had the time to look outside my usual self centric ideas and towards the open world.

The fact that I joined Kottu also changed my blogging course. As mentioned previously in a post about anonymity, I didn't want to include personal details of my life and have someone that may know me stumble on to this blog and realise that it is me. I guess for me anonymity really is valuable.

Reading through some of the entries from 2006 to now, I'm glad I had this blog to pen my thoughts. Else they would have disappeared into the abyss that is the human mind never to return. They prove to be a wonderful trip down memory lane and also a very important and necessary point from which to remember the bad things in the past so I am able to better appreciate my present fortunes.

My blog is my friend and it will help me remember my life for a long time to come.

To the Diaspora..

Disclaimer: Throughout this article who I refer to as members of Diaspora are the minority of extremists amongst them. I fully understand that there are moderate, equal minded people and I don't wish to offend them at all! 

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I came across this comment made by an individual on the 23rd April 2009 dated article of the Economist titled 'Sri Lanka's war: To the bitter end'.

Muttiah wrote:

May 6, 2009 16:00

Dear Author,
Tamils are convinced already that the war against the Tigers is on behalf of all Sri Lankans, including Tamils.

However, reading some comments here substantiates how LTTE disappointed their global network of propagandists, financial donors who fuelled this misery, and specially those who funded this war with selfish expectations for major favours in their future Eelam.
Those who are fabricating stories and twisting the truth, should see for themselves, these safe heavens created for our very own brothers and sisters who have crossed the line with hope.
Despite their own financial problems, knowing that there is quite a number of ex-LTTE cadres who surrendered, Sri-Lankan civilians, mostly Sinhalese who have been the target of LTTE terrorism, keep collecting contributions for the Tamil refugees in North. But what have the expatriate pro-LTTE Tamils done for their own community?

My dear brothers,
We Tamils need to realize the truth that Eelam was just a mirage and that LTTE was the most horrible thing that ever happened to us. If you are enjoying a comfy life in west you will never realize, but if you come to Sri-Lanka and visit the IDP camps you will comprehend what our own Tamils in North & East went through with your treasured freedom fighters.
We dont need an Eelam. We are Tamils in Sri-Lanka, where great Tamils like Murali, Lakshman Kadiragamar and Dr.Neelan Thiruchelvam were born.

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I'm not Tamil, I'm Sinhalese. I'm not Hindu, I am Buddhist. I'm not living abroad, I live in Sri Lanka. But I am liberal minded. I believe in living equally with all ethnicities for I feel that this whole argument is so pointless. We are only different by which language we learnt to speak from birth. Nothing else. To quote a notable quote 'when we are cut, we all bleed'. Out of all the people I know in Sri Lanka of my age, I can only name one person who I see as an extremist. And I don't particularly care much for that person. 

As per my previous post, as someone who has lived in this country, I have witnessed a lot. As people of this country, our population has been through a LOT. They have ALL felt fear. They have ALL felt anger. and they have ALL felt sympathy. 

As the author in the above comment states, people in the South and notably Colombo (I am just extrapolating this to the other parts of the country) are doing everything in their power to collect food, clothing, medicines and other essential items to send to the persons in the North. Until I read this statement from Mr. Muttiah it didn't strike me that we were Sinhalese sending things to Tamils. I just don't process things like that. And I'm sure a majority of the Sri Lankans I know, who were born and bred in Sri Lanka, don't think of things like that either.

This is why, when I went to uni in London, and I met this girl who was Sri Lankan but bred in London and she asked me 'Are you Sinhalese or Tamil?', I was actually offended. Not to mention shocked. Thats sort of taboo where I come from. And ill-mannered. Needless to say, i got asked this a lot when I said I'm from Sri Lanka. Some foreigners even asked me whether I was a Tiger. I was like 'WHAT are you smoking?!' but wa-hey, they are foreigners, let them think what they want. Anyway, back to our expat Sri Lankans. 

I can't help but feel that these Sri Lankan diaspora members - be they Sinhalese or Tamil -  are living in the '80s. That can be the only reason why the Sinhalese members supported the war so vehemently in the face of so much anguish for Tamil civilians and the Tamil members are so angry that the LTTE was wiped out. Furthermore, some of the Tamil diaspora members behaving so vilely as to throw acid on innocent Sinhalese students in Australia - that is just despicable. When us, who are in Sri Lanka, who have lived through fear and terror and war for the past 26 years just want this 'nadagama' (shabang) to just STOP. Here are people, far away in the safety of their adopted nations, acting like vicious hooligans. 

For what? I hear them ask for another uprising of the LTTE - I ask them, is your youth going to come to a country they barely know and they have barely visited and fight against an elected government? Or are you suggesting that the Tamil youth in Sri Lanka take up arms again for some sort of strange dream of yours? And WHY do you want Eelam so badly? So that you have some place to vacation? So that when things go badly in your adopted countries, you can still glorify the legitimate struggles of the people who actually stayed on here? And the Sinhalese members, please don't bring your outdated racism back into this game. It has no place here. I say, read the news, read our blogs, read our online newspapers (Sunday Leader is an ubiased view) and get to know the reality of this country as it is and teach your children that. Not what you experienced 30 years ago. Find the good in our people and do what you can from your much developed nations to enhance that. 

You have a choice to support us, Sri Lankans, in going ahead and re-building this nation. But to stir up hate, draw boundaries, initiate terrorism -you really don't have a say in it. 

A Sri Lanka Without War

On Monday, when I first woke up and heard about the complete end to the war and cessation of fighting, I honestly did not know what to feel. In a population which erupted into a cry of joy, there were a few such as I, who remained quiet. I felt this victory was not ours on that day. It was that of the brave men and women who left their homes to fight a war that has never in 30 years been won. 

Over the past couple of months, the war fervour had intensified in Colombo. Those that previously had no opinion, suddenly developed one and partitions were created between people who had never before had cause for argument due to this war. 

I was born in 1984. Apparently, when the riots erupted in 1983, my mother was pregnant with me and she helped her Tamil neighbours seek refuge in 'our' house. Brave. I can't remember when I first heard of the L.T.T.E but I do remember one day we were driving somewhere, and on a wall some sentence was graffitied and it contained the word 'L.T.T.E'. This was as soon as I learned to read so for the first time I remember becoming aware that there was an E at the end of that 'word'. All that while I had called it L.T.T. To get an idea of the timeline, I believe the then Prime Minister Premadasa was speaking at a rally close by to that wall. So let's say 1988/89. 

Which means my entire life, I have been aware of the LTTE.

I was approximately 9/10 years old when the Orugodawatte Oil Refinery LTTE attack took place. I vividly remember waking up in the middle of the night and facing an orange flaming sky. People were on the roads and I remember hearing of stories where people had run for their lives in the neighbouring areas. The next few days motorcyclists white shirts were black when it rained. Because it rained oil. 

I was 9 years old when my mother and I went to the Book Exhibition and Sale near Independent Square on May 1st, 1993 and on our way home, there was a huge traffic and this gentleman stopped our car and told us to take another route home. Because a suicide cadre had just killed President Premadasa as he took part in the UNP May Day rally. Of course, there is still speculation as to who really committed that murder. But popular belief was the LTTE. 

I was 11/12 when one day in school we heard a noise and thought that someone had dropped a massive aluminium sheet on to the ground (don't ask, we were young). Then we learnt that the Central Bank had been bombed by a truck laden with explosive driven by suicide LTTE cadres. My friend's father walked all the way to school to pick us up and made us walk back home because there was too much traffic to go by car. Over a 100 people died that day. I made it a habit to look at the obituary page in the newspaper every January 31st after that. But with time, even that practice was forgotten.

I was 15 when I got a call from a friend who said that as President Kumaratunga was leaving a rally (for the Presidential Elections in 1999) that a suicide bomber had exploded. The President was lucky enough to escape but lost an eye. 

As part of the generation of war, this is just a handful of experiences I have had to live through in Sri Lanka over the past 26 years. With the passing of time, you become immune to hearing about deaths on tv. As a nation, we don't shout out in horror that there was a bomb on a bus that killed two people and injured 30 others. We have become apathetic. The LTTE has time and again invented new ways to overcome this apathy. 

I was 23 when all our friends gathered together to watch the Cricket World Cup where after 11 years Sri Lanka was finally playing in a Final. The LTTE flies jets over the city and sparks off anti aircraft fire, power cuts, search lights heralding in a new era of fear. Since then the LTTE flew aircraft twice more over our city. The last time which was this year, we were on the road and had the closest experience to war that I have seen in my life.

Through all this, I have but suffered NOTHING compared to what some people who live in this country have suffered. I have merely seen the dead sprewn across streets, dismembered limbs sprawled across pavements. But these dead had families who must bear the sorrow of their loss regardless of whether the war is won or not. 

So now, you tell me that the war is over and the LTTE is no more and question me as to why I cannot dance in the street? Because I am numb. I am rendered speechless and immovable. By the horrors that I have witnessed in this country over my entire lifetime, by the number of people who have died to bring us to this point and by the immense task we have ahead of us to ensure that my children do not grow up to realise that LTT has an E at the end. 

Bittersweet

Sounds of crackers erupted around Colombo this afternoon at around 1:45pm. Since I didn't have a dailymirror alert on my phone, I wasn't entirely sure what was going on (although I knew that the 'war was over') but later I realised this marked the end of the war and the declaration that the entire country is now under the control of the Sri Lankan government.

Readers of this blog would know that I was not a supporter of the military effort. Simply due to the fact that I did not believe that the humanitarian catastrophe would be worth the end result. The lighting of crackers in Colombo is not only reeks of lack of consideration towards the sufferings of the people who actually directly suffered in the war but it cries out injustice. 

Humility is required at this point in time. In knowing that, the Tamil people who were treated as second class citizens in their own country should not be allowed to feel that way again. When we (who sometimes forgot their was a war going on in this country whilst we drank champagne and hobnobbed with socialites late into the nights) scream out jubilations about how relieved we are that the country is finally free, should realise how ridiculous this may seem to the 300,000 IDPs not very far from us. 

We should ensure that our 'celebrations' do not trample on their sorrows. We should ensure they do not feel that they endured the hell that was the no fire zone just so that people in the South can dance on the street. This victory is as much theirs as it is ours. If not more so. We should gather together to convince our government that the victory in the war is only half the battle won. That we need it to complete its mandate fully - provide the Tamil citizens in this country their rights to live as first class citizens. If the LTTE is truly banished, there should be no need to hold these IDPs away from their homes and in famine conditions (that the government even with the best of intentions may not be able to support due to the sheer size of the requirement). 

By the lighting of crackers and hoisting of the National Flag, we should not allow anyone to forget the true casualties of this war. The people who suffered its consequences directly on a daily basis. This includes the armed forces, the families of the armed forces and the IDPs). 

You and I played no active part in this battle. Therefore, it is more important than ever that we now take up our responsibility as seriously as the armed forces took theirs. Let none of the thousands of lives that were lost and scarred over the past 3 decades have been in vain. Let us not forget to do our bit for this country. And then together, we can all proclaim the beginning of One Sri Lanka. 

Not yet.

I've become a Squid

Squidoo - Why is this thing not more popular?? Its fantastic!! Its loadsa fun and its like one big community of information! 

I've started making lenses (mini blogs about a specific theme) and the beauty of it is, is that it can be as long or as short as you want. AND IT MAKES YOU MONEY. apparently. I haven't really received anything yet but I just started today. I'm gonna try find how to link up this and that but for now my Squidoo links are:

www.squidoo.com/srilankantravel

and 

www.squidoo.com/studentlifelondon

and

www.squidoo.com/10bestrestaurantssrilanka

As you can see, its pretty simple, ease of use and links up with ebay, Amazon, Cafepress and adsense to connect ads/products with your ideas. I'm not entirely sure how one makes money but I guess I'll have to read up on that. Oh and also, you can either take the money yourself or donate to charity. Which is also pretty noble.

Much fun!

Dissent

There are so many wide ranging views on the war effort, the IDP situation, the international community, Diaspora and Sri Lanka around the world and within the tiny island that you may call it information overload. From bloggers to NYTimes the issues are discussed, from Arvind Adiga to Channel 4 opinions are aired, the whole situation is controversial and as it involves so many parties, it is bound to be opinioniated.

I find the mirades of articles interesting. Enlightening. I enjoy the varying opinions. Finally however, what is of concern to me is the immeasurable grief that is being experienced by so many Sri Lankans who are DIRECTLY affected by this war. Therefore, as someone who does not think a military solution is the ultimate solution, I feel nothing but pain to all those people who are suffering right now. 

The brave young men and women who enroll in the army, whose deaths we do not mourn on a name by name basis. Their parents and loved ones who wait listlessly till they see or hear from them again. The loved ones of the innumberable missing persons. Both in the military and civilian population. The IDPs whose loved ones have died in front of them, who have lost their dignity and are now living as paupers in what is meant to be their country. The journalists and other emboldened souls who strive to tell us the truth on a daily basis yet do not sleep soundly at night worrying what lay in store for them.

When I was living abroad, I always enjoyed the thought of home. I could endure the hardships of a foreign existance knowing full well that its solely upto me when I go home and put an end to the misery of being an immigrant per se. I always knew that wherever I go that there is a place that I belong, that I can return to and live with dignity. And that was Sri Lanka.

This Sri Lanka that affords me a life of dignity and considerable luxury, does not offer the same for these persons. That pains me. The Sri Lanka where I can enjoy a wide range of delicacies does not afford these persons three meals a day on most occassions. The Sri Lanka that waves me through checkpoints after a smile and a greeting does not allow these persons to pass through without checking every single item in their bags.

I always believed that an end to this crisis will occur once the current generation dies. That us, the younger generation, will lead the way to a better Sri Lanka. That we will understand the issues that plagued each of the ethnicities and work towards eliminating each of these issues in a responsible manner. However, now, I see that even my views which are nothing but moderate, sometimes causes worry and anger in others of my own age. Or maybe younger than me.

The solid Sinhala Buddhist mentality (which thankfully has evaded me) is present in a number of persons in Sri Lanka. This mentality is only further emboldened by the victory on the war front. Thus these persons feel that every issue that Sri Lanka currently faces is secondary to the war against the LTTE. And winning that war will automatically place us in a position to fix everyone else's smaller less important problems. And that we should not speak of anything else that is wrong in this country and nor should anyone in the international community for it is unpatriotic. 

No. It is not unpatriotic. It is realistic. Winning the war will not assist these people regain what they lost. Furthermore, the more they lose, the higher the chance that Sri Lanka will be embroiled in war again and again till perhaps global warming takes charge and we all drown. 

For that matter, the diaspora and the Indian politicians who are screaming for a seperate state and the survival of the LTTE are equally as opposed to the 'righteous middle path' as the Sinhala extremists. Our country is too small to have two seperate states. We can travel from Jaffna to Dondra Point in around 24 hours. We will be stepping on each others toes. So why step on toes when we can just live peacefully? Maybe my views are too idealistic.Either way, I have the right to air my opinion. 

Therefore, convince your friends to allow dissent. Your parents that dissent is important. Lets convince that others views are as viable as our own. That this war is not about you and me who have internet access and sit in our comfortable homes but more about the people who are suffering by being directly involved in this war. 

How Tired Must They Be?

I'm so tired. Mentally exhausted. Everywhere I turn there is talk of biased opinions, unbiased opinions, intolerance of dissent, attacks, shellings, no-heavy equipment, heavy artillery fire, deaths, camps, loss of loved ones, disappearances, displaced displaced displaced. 

We have the Tamil Diaspora holding placards and waving the LTTE flag and screaming for their adopted governments to save their 'motherland' from its impending death, we have the Sinhalese extremists/not so extremists high on the fumes of victory yelling the importance of sovereignity, we have the international community making random appeals with no significant actions being taken to show they mean business, we have the LTTE on the brink of being crushed hollering about their need for negotiations, we have Jayalalitha in India attempting to be the next Big P, we have India using the Sri Lankan cause to get ahead in the elections, we have the ruling Big Rs drunk on the victory in the war and elections and knowing they face no opposition in crushing dissent and we have the opposition, probably knitting at home, since they are doing f*** in the public arena!

IT IS EXHAUSTING. When all I can see are the dastardly unfortunate civilians (approx 200,000 persons) ripped out of their homes, being trapped with the sounds and sights of war all around them, without a bite to eat, water to drink, injured, loved ones dead, wading through neck deep water, in camps with only a bundle of clothes to call their own and to remind them that they once used to have lives that were not used to further the cause of some egotistic maniac in the North or the South. 

We are doing a LOT in Colombo. We're making donations, we're collecting goods, we're obtaining permissions to transport them up to the camps. Even then, these goods may not get to those people! There are stories emerging now that the goods we send to the North are being used to create a blackmarket within the camps. With a kilo of sugar selling for 800 rs! A low income worker in the South will not be able to afford a kilo of sugar for 800 rs how are these people who are at the mercy of one fraction or another expected to fork out these exorbitant sums for what is rightly theirs??? 

There is something so innately wrong in the Sri Lankan psyche. Be you Tamil or Sinhalese, a local or a part of the diaspora. It can only be the consequence of 26 years of war and at least 62 years of insecurities amongst ethnicities. 

Else how does a Tamil Diaspora that left this country on average 25 years to go, with children who have never visited this country, now be proclaiming genocide when a terrorist organisation is being crushed militarily. Why do they not question the hostage situation in the North with their own people living the lives of the wretched? Why are they not doing more to get the international communities to provide donations so that food and shelter can be provided for the floods of people coming out of the LTTE held area to the SLA protection? Why are they not calling for the govt to provide equal rights to these people now that they have shown that they trust the govt more than the LTTE? Why cannot the Diaspora realise that it is not them who are living comparatively luxurious existences in the countries they dispersed to all those years ago who really have a say in what happens to the LTTE, but it is the people of the North who spend every day living (and dying) under the conditions of the LTTE that must have the last say?

How does a Sinhalese community have this much insecurity bred into their psyche? Its not difficult for us in the South to realise that minorities are not a threat to us. In fact, we must engage and force the govt to provide equal rights to these people so that they can live their lives with as much dignity as we have been able to live over these past few decades. Furthermore, it is pivotal that we realise the importance of the presence of an unbiased party in the camps to ensure that the IDP's are allowed access to the donations that come to them. This cannot be another 'tsunami relief effort'. The govt should allow for dissent, freedom of speech, freedom of press. They have won the war. They have in effect showed the doubters that it could be done (albeit with a level of force that was otherwise unimagineable). Now they can take this time to turn the doubters into supporters. By being more democratic. There is nothing wrong with democracy. Why fear democracy? Why fear freedom of speech? Great leaders are bred not through dictatorships but of mutual trust and respect. The Sinhalese as a people, must ensure that they are open to dissent. Opinions will be aired especially in times like these. If we are unable to tolerate dissent ourselves, we are feeding the govt the power it needs to crush dissent.

International community? Get your act together. Provide support. Understand the issues. Yes, the international community is necessary. Without it, the government is accountable to no-one. With it also it seems the govt is accountable to noone. Soveriegnity will not be encroached upon just because someone tells you something you are doing is wrong. The figures the UN projected for the trapped civilians is more or less correct as is now proved. The satellite images show that there has been shellings. Without these things, we will never know what is going on up north. However, they must speak with reason. Yes the trapped civilians must be released. The international community must exercise pressure on the LTTE to release these civilians. It is not the army that build the earth bunds. The govt cannot shut itself out from the international community. Not when our economy is shattering in front of our eyes. Thus diplomacy must still be the key. 

Jayalalitha should stop making mentally imbalanced comments in public in an effort to win an election. Politicians as a whole should stop using the plight of the people and their poverty to further thier selfish causes. Our opposition needs to wake up from its slumber. When the whole world is awake with cries regardign the North, the UNP sleeps. Or bickers amongst themselves. NOW is not the time for pettiness. Now is not the time for yourselves. Now is the time to be the Opposition. Point out the issues, petition the govt, lobby the masses, show the country what is happening, build networks in the grassroots, start helping the people to recognise their own insecurities and alleviate those issues in attempt to build for a better Sri Lanka.

The Rajapakse government has completed the first phase of their mandate. To win the war. The second step, what happens to the North now, relies on the next step each one of these parties make. I can only hope that they remember the people. The people we have lost. The people that are lost. The people that have lost. And not themselves when it comes to making that next step.  

Ah... foresight?

I rememeber reading the news, reading the books, reading and reading and feeling this fear about what is going on in this world?! Thus, in May 2008, I wrote the following post:

http://ramblingsmind.blogspot.com/2008/05/2008-year-of-crisis.html

It went by and large unnoticed, as would this, but reading back I feel that (ever so modestly) I was right. It did have to stop. We had to re-assess our priorities as nations and economies. I did not expect it to be as strong as the response that actually did occur however why did no-one in a place far higher and more powerful than I, not notice this?

I speak of 'experts' forecasting the price of oil to hit $200 a barrel by end of 2008? It barely hit $50! So are they really 'experts'? Half the great books out there are right now redundant. The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman - the world isn't flat. It is very much rounded, especially when self-interest gets in the way. China killed the Coke-Hyuiyuan deal not because globalisation is such a profound force, but because self interest overpowers all that.

The Buy American policy that may be present in the newly passed legislation this year? Again, far away from globalisation as it can get. We are all retreating into our respective shells and protectionism is the new word of the day. So the books will be written about that.

We consumed and we consumed. There was no lack of supply for oil yet the price rose and rose until boom! it crashed. We took loans out, we used credit cards, we bought a car, we bought a house, we bought another car, we bought clothes, we dined at fancy restaurants, we became obese, we bought more clothes, we incurred credit card debt, we bought that LCD tv - yes, we consumed and consumed. Now, we don't have a job, we can't pay our debt, our home is under foreclosure and we are pretty much stuffed! At least we won't die of malnutrition whilst that walk to the dole office makes us burn the 80 kgs of extra fat we had accumulated.

I mean really?!, as a people, is this what we are proud of? There's a fundamental flaw in this system and that is greed. We want more, we find ways to make more money, to buy more things and that is never enough. Till this fundamental cornerstone of our being changes, there will be many expansions and contractions of our economies. For once again, the belts that are now being tightened, will beg to be loosened. 

 

A Small Note to Remember a Great Man

Tissa Abeyesekera, a leading artiste in Sri Lanka passed away today after being admitted for surgery to Colombo General Hospital this week. 

Words fail me. I have known of him since I was young. I have met him many a times at dinners and lunches. I have answered the phone when he had phoned to speak to my parents. Thus I don't write of him as an ardent fan. But merely as someone I had the priviledge to know. 

He will be greatly missed by his closest friends. His voice will remain etched in our hearts as we hear repeatedly the countless documentaries for which he has done the voice over. That authoratitive voice, injecting into the listener the gravity of any situation. 

His movies will work as a memory of his brilliance. His creativity. 

It is a great loss to us. That we are no longer able to hear one more word uttered in that magnificent voice or listen to a story formulated by that genius of a mind.

May he rest in peace. 

Reprise from the Land of the Lonely

I have removed myself from the blog aggregator 'Kottu'. As great as being a part of the Kottu community was, the current situation in Sri Lanka and the lack of anonymity associated with being part of a Sri Lankan community stifled my ability to speak freely of my life. Thus the focus on more public matters such as politics in my recent posts. However, even politics is shifty business in Sri Lanka therefore, the removal of my registration at Kottu has now enabled me to be more open, less censored about my views. Be it on any subject ranging from life to love to politics to credit crisis.

As I read the entries in my blog over the past three years, I feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. I have been through a number of experiences and documenting them on this blog as was my purpose when I first started blogging, has made them all the more precious. I am able to relive those times in my life and appreciate my current life more as well as understand that what doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.

For approximately the past two years, I have been happy. I have not been lonely. I have been alone but not lonely. That is a significant achievement for someone like me, who has had loneliness as their friend continuously since she was 18. I owe thanks to my boyfriend for this great feat. Living out of a suitcase since I turned 21 , moving from job to job, wrong relationship to wrong relationship, city to city had been exhausting. But since I have been with him, life has been one continuous smooth moment. 

The worst of times does not feel as bad as they would have had I been alone. Staying home and not speaking to a single soul all day still does not feel as bad when you know someone out there will enquire about you and make sure you communicate with them. Someone who loves you no matter how terrible your moodswings, your anger, your temper tantrums are is a blessing that perhaps I am not worthy of. I am grateful for each moment I have spent with him and I will continue to be grateful. 

This has been said by others before, but this is the one time that I truly mean it, if I had to do it all over again just to meet you... I'd not hesitate once. 

Condemn the attacks on the Hospital!!!!!!!!!

I'm looking at the sites that are showing pictures upon pictures of little children and women dead in their beds at the PTK Hospital and I actually want to cry. I usually get angry, I write on this, I try and stir up some courage to move the masses yet fail. But I don't cry. But today that is all there is left to do. 

Their only fault is that they were born in the North and born Tamil. How could a government of a 'Democratic Socialist Republic' kill its own citizens in such a horrendous manner?? How could the same government make plans for an elaborate Independence Day parade at Galle Face Green when its civilians are anything but independent??? 

If Prabhakaran is a terrorist and a murderer, we must call the ones on this side ordering these attacks the same thing. I thank the forces for 'rescuing the North' however I have no USE for this land they are capturing. I can take a bet on any given day that the people supporting this ludicrous war does not either. How can we make so many scars on this nation whilst trying to capture this plot of land????

They have broken the Geneva Convention by attacking this hospital. Not once, Not twice BUT THRICE. Would they shell Apollo in sucha  manner? Or Nawaloka? No they would not. Even if they know that terrorists are hiding out in there. THEY WOULD NOT. What makes the citizens of the North ANY LESS CITIZENS of our country than we are?????? 

This is not a fostering environment for anything but terrorism. Yes they'll wipe out the LTTE but pay me when the day comes, someone else - perhaps currently losing a loved one in the North - will grow up to a life of hatred and revenge will burn and another Prabhakaran will come about. Our children will face that terror. And so on and so forth the cycle will continue.

I don't know what to do anymore. It is POINTLESS to write. We all agree, we all disagree amongst each other. How will it stop??!!!!

Direction!!

So I've decided I completely need direction. I don't like the direction of my life right now. I mean. warming a chair and staring at a screen for nine hours every day for five days a week can get you a bit dull. And morose.

Career choices continue to be the bane of my existance and I really don't know what to do with myself! I'm in Finance, I studied Science, I would very much love to dabble in journalism/creative writing/politics. 

But that would be a waste of my degree because for further study, I would still like to gain lots of letters after my name that involve the Sciences. A BA in Journalism won't sit well with me because for me education doesn't come free and therefore if I must go abroad and pay for it, I want it to be something that I'm completely certain I want to study about and thats Science. 

But what do I want to do everyday? I'd love to work at a magazine. Not these His and Hellos and Toodles we have in SL but a proper international magazine. It just seems so creative and flourishing (not to mention glamourous but that may just be my perception of Ugly Betty world). Or write a book.

I would love to try journalism in Sri Lanka but of course the threat of Dementors flocking down on me and sucking my soul out is of course an occupational hazard that may deter me from doing so (anonymously I will continue to yell out my opinions here). 

I don't know. Would have really thought I'd have figured this shit out by now! 

For the third year in a row, CATCH UP!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
- I stayed in a relationship for a whole year (and more), I took out some loans, I paid them back! :P

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? No but will make the same one this year, To go the gym religiously and get myself toned up! <--- thats from last year but I HAVE been very good this year so far.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope, but I got to see the lovely babies that were born last year, and they are amaazing lil creatures!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope, thank God <--- thank god again

5. What countries did you visit?  India, SL, Singapore, Thailand

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? job satisfaction.. that really eludes me. sense of purpose. and of course, more muscle less fat.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?  Hmm.. it was all a bunch of great days.Even the bad ones

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Keeping the guy i adore with me.

9. What was your biggest failure? Still not being able to find job satisfaction, not hating my boss. etc etc

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing significant

11. What was the best thing you bought? Not a very gadget centric year, I hope to change that in 2009. Probably tickets to Thailand for me n the bf :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mum, my bf, the new gang of friends I made for being such fun ppl

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? some friends who are meant to be close but hv drifted away and maybe my own

14. Where did most of your money go? Lord, if i can answer that one! I ask myself that eeeevery day , but id say mostly rent. and paying back my old employer.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Spending every day with my bf after spending so much time on long distnace!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? that get low song... hilarious!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

I. happier or sadder? Happier.

II. thinner or fatter? Fatter

III richer or poorer? FAR poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? SAVING money, thinking decisions through a lil better, getting less drunk on occasions

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? CRIBBING <---- 2nd time nominee

22. Did you fall in love in 2008? YUP, with the same boy all over again

23. How many one-night stands? None!

24. What was your favorite TV program? Grey's anatomy <--- 2nd year running, also add Heroes and Brothers and Sisters

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Probably not. More disappointed in certain people, proud of a whole bunch of other people!

26. What was the best book you read? Time Travellers Wife

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Stuck to my old tastes

28. What did you want and get? Keep my bf, keep my old friends, make some great new ones

29. What did you want and not get? a raise. and a job im happy in

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Dark Knight, Stardust, a few others

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 24, had a small party and dinner

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Cant ask for anything more than what I received <--- Amen

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? As always, comfortable yet trendy. Missed the shops in London tho

34. What kept you sane? Faith in God, Mum and a Few Good Mates, and the boy

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Sanath Jayasuriya :P

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Sri Lanka's ethnic crisis and political turmoil <-- sadly still there

37. Who did you miss? My bf :( when I was living away from him, my mum wen i was livin away from her

38. Who was the best new person you met? The bunch of friends I have now. fab crowd

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:  Things do get better. There is a way out. All that matters are the people you love and who loves you. 

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:  a sleepy blue ocean

Driving you insane!

On my morning drives to work, I've noticed one major result of the one way road system. Any semblance of order that prevailed in our roads have disintegrated. 

Never are there straight lanes, there are just cars randomly packed together. If a small gap opens, someone turns the wheel in order to get into that space. Defying any geometrical principle that states that going from A to B in a zig zag manner will be less productive than just going straight. (Whatever that principle maybe!). 

Lest the traffic eases up and people are able to drive at a reasonable speed, they completely ignore the brake. We see a car trying to enter from a bylane, we swerve or speed up. We see a car trying to overtake, we swerve. We see a bus hurtling at us at 90mph, we swerve. God forbid if there's a car on the other side trying to overtake. Well, that car will swerve too.

Sri Lankan roads have never been the epitome of orderly traffic. But ever since the one way system was introduced, people seem to have gotten that much out of control! I used to drive but since 2006/7 I have resorted to cabbing it places since 1) a car is way too expensive to buy with 300% tax 2) the checkpoints make it unsafe for a girl to drive in the night 3) the traffic is manic. 

So I am that backseat driver who tries to brake using her imaginary brake. Trust me, Ive been braking more with my imaginary brake than I did when I was using the real thing!

What is wrong with us?!

What next?

The A9 is open. Hands up those who have booked the van for their next/first trip to Jaffna? Hands up those who cancelled the trip to Bentota to frolic instead in the clear blue waters around Point Pedro? Yeah, as I guessed, none. 

Freedom from terror to me means not having to be checked at twenty check points on my way from Colombo 5 to Colombo 6 and asked for my ID. Freedom from terror would mean not being apathetic to the news another bomb has gone off in a train. Freedom from terror would mean not being stuck in traffic jams for hours at end due to a politician more terrified than me travelling 1km away from me. 

It is but delusional to think any of this will change just because the army captures Elephant Pass, Kilinochchi or Mullativu. There can never be any victors in a war. As we celebrate these victories with fireworks, we celebrate too these freedoms we will never have. Sri Lankans will forever live terrified that the next Central Bank attack will be at their building. The next Taj massacre will be at their hotel. 

Sri Lanka is a nurturing ground for terrorists. The tamil people are still, after 25 years of war, being treated as second class citizens of their own country. They are viewed with suspicion and treated with contempt. How many Tamil people do you know that can speak Sinhalese? Now, think how many Sinhalese do you know who can speak Tamil? The discrepancy is wide. Will this suspicion end because the war is over? When the govt has no idea where the LTTE are? 

Will this mean that just because we are able to place Sri Lankan flags and many an army soldier in the land that has been won up north that the Sri Lankan people will be able to finally forget this unncessary issue of language and go about their lives in peace? NO it won't. 

It is NOT ok that Tamil youth are abducted daily all around this country. It wasn't okay when Premadasa did that to the Sinhalese youth suspecting they were JVP and it is NOT ok that it is happening now. It is NOT ok that countless journalists have been harrassed through out the past 3 years for speaking the truth, what the ruling parties don't want to hear. It is NOT ok that our fundamental rights are daily stripped away under the war pretense through the passage of emergency laws. 

Human life is valuable. Whether they are Tamil, Sinhalese or Muslim. Palestinian or Israeli. We have lost more than one generation because of this war. How many more do we sacrifice before realising that its NOT ok?

Evil: Time to take a stand against Sri Lankan fascist regimes

'All that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing'.

Today is a sad day in Sri Lankan history. It is an important day in its history. We have had many an important days in our history however on hindsight, I can only see bad choices, greed, power hungry morons and their decisions that have led us to today. The Sri Lankan Media Ministry was taken under the 'wings' of our President on the 1st of January 2009.

Since then, (a mere 8 days) a gang of 20 armed militants have entered the premises of one of the major independent television networks and set it on fire with the ambition of silencing them. A mere two days after this attack whilst the criticism was still pouring in, one of the key journalists in this country have been gunned down in broad daylight by a gang of 8 bikers. 

What is their common thread? They say things as it is. They report to the people what others fear to do. Lasantha Wickramatunga has time and time again put his life in danger to bring to us what the rest of the media institutions tried to hide. He has built one of the finest investigative journalism units in the country. True, he too has faltered during his career, sometimes bordering on slander and stepping on many a toe, however, it is the fundamental right of a citizen of a democracy to be able to express their views. It is a fundamental right for the truth to be told. 

Lasantha was murdered for allowing us this right. 

The current situation in the country is unacceptable. 

'All that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing'. 

We see evil, we see its face, we see its siblings, we see its actions yet we are too afraid to speak up. But we must. Evil throughout the ages has always been brought down by brave people, courageous people time and time again standing up for what is right and what they believe in. This country has gone through turbulent times however we had hope. We had people we could look to as alternative leaders. We had Gamini Dissanayake, we had Lalith Athulathmudali, Ossi Abeygunasekera, Vijay Kumaratunga, R. Premadasa, J.R. Jayawardena, Chandrika Bandaranaike and countless others.

The last three proved to be tyrants themselves however when they reached power they brought with them that glimmer of hope. They had fought against injustices. Who do we have at this moment who will fight against the injustice that is a corrupt government terrorising its own people under the veil of a war? 

Kilinochchi is time and time again utilised as a veil to deflect the sentiments of an emotional public. A reason to commit atrocities that noone can stand upto. We are definitely on the path that Zimbabwe was on aa while back. There is only one way to ensure we do not end up in the same place.

We must stop being apathetic. We MUST take a stand. We must fight.

Postnote: I wasn't going to publish this. It scares me to publish this. But that would mean Lasantha Wickramatunga and countless others would have died in vain. And we cannot have that.