Saturday, February 24, 2007



It's been a really good first year and its being there to document my feelings, rants and thoughts on various experiences since last Feb. I'm really happy that I continued to update it without leaving it after a while!!

Thanks so much to Blu for reading my posts and keeping me motivated to write more! Also to jetblossom, chalice and a few others who I met first on the blogosphere and was a great group of readers!

I wanted to get upto 50 posts this year and I think I managed around 47 so by next Feb, hopefully I'll add at least another 50 or more posts!!

Thanks loads everyone!! and


Thursday, February 22, 2007

Brats and other Sri Lankan societical illnesses

So, another rant post is on its way.

Sri Lanka is a small country with a population of just over 19 million. Colombo, then is a smaller city. Being a third world country with a war situation over the past 21 years, its not wrong to think that the majority of the population lives dismal lives, with a huge gap between the rich and the poor within this country. In Colombo, we find a situation where the country's current situation is only mirrored when the occasional bomb goes off, when we see the army and policemen at check points around the city and when we see the roads barricaded.

In Jaffna (Northern & Eastern Sri Lanka equally), there are people who can't get access to basics such as shampoo, soap, batteries and other essential items to lead a 'normal' life. These aren't the minority who face this situation, it is an entire section of the country. People in Batticaloa (East) live in refugee camps with mud as their floor and a bare canvas as their roof. They live in fear of the gun, fear of abduction and forced recruitment either to the guerilla fractions or to the army. There are 4 people being killed every hour in Sri Lanka. A large part of tsunami victims live without homes, without family members, without a form of employment. In a country, where such a large number of people face one crisis after another, such a large number live in dire poverty and oppression, what do Colombo persons do?

I used to be part of the people who go clubbing every weekend, dinner at 5 star restaurants in the nights, not a care in the world except who did what last night with who. However, as I grew both in age and life experience, it became essential to question this behaviour and whether it is right to do this. Sri Lanka is a small country therefore our nightly joy can be seen by those that suffer, is this right?

A perfect example - HI magazine: a societical magazine that shows the Colombo socialites out and about at their respective cocktail gigs (about 70 pages of this) and the last two pages are dediacted to the occurences around Sri Lanka over that period - women crying, houses burnt and other dismal pictures stare back at you. This is the reality of Sri Lanka. So how can we behave like this does not happen? That it doesnt happen here, where this party is going on, where Im sipping this cocktail - there are people without drinking water in the East. How can we as a nation be so apathetic?

So, someone tried to talk to me about Colombo society today and I wondered whether they were real! How can they even speak about the value of these bimbo females and males that go clubbing to the same spot every week meet the same people speak the same things and presume that their lives were so FULL? YES, if you can afford it, do it. But - where do we draw the line? There has to be a line doesnt there?

This is an ideal example of the strict divide between the rich and the poor in this country. The disillusionment of the masses with the situation in the country cannot be reflected by these individuals. But aren't we living in the same country?

Everyone needs to go out and have a good time. However, this type of societical illness where people go out only to see and be seen in a country that is so afflicted with problems seems a problem that is reflected on a larger scale by the war that is going on in the country which doesn't seem to have a solution in the near future.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Common Cold - bah

I ve been a perpetual sufferer of the common cold - fondly known as the 'cold' all around the world - and its amazing how this virus mutates itself so that it finds new innovative ways of annoying me the moment I think I know it!

I won't go into deep details - otherwise gory, but its just so irritating when I finally think I know how to deal with this cold and how it'll pass, it mutates and starts attacking in a different manner. For the past three years, if I got it, it stays for three days - the middle day being right bad and me sniffling through the minutes and then it goes away. Now, its mutated version being it irritates my nose bed in the middle of the night for around 5 hours and goes away in the morning thus leaving me without sleep and very very annoyed!

For all the advancements of science, I wish they could find a way to eradicate this bug once and for all! Not to say that this deserves more confidence than a cure for cancer or HIV.

Hachchoo, Ill be back soon!

Friday, February 16, 2007


'Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss?' - asks Kiran Desai in her novel 'Inheritance of Loss', triggering off a thought trend of my own.

We feel loss to the core of our being to the point where we can immerse and lose ourselves within that loss. Where it becomes all consuming and we fail to acknowledge logic or reason. We fail to see reality and the notion that come what may, we will survive. This feeling will last for minutes (least) and years (at the most)

Could we ever feel fulfillment that - fully? (for the lack of a better word?) Could the happiness you derive from having one you love acknowledge their love for you, or the happiness you experience when you get that call offering you your ideal job - ever be felt so completely as you would the sadness of unrequited love or failure? As a species, are we completely immersed in our sorrows that happiness is merely a gap between two sorrows?

We are told by various books, movies, art to live in the moment. Our inability to live in the present without wandering off into the past or future may be the reason behind our elongated sorrows and fleeting happiness. Funnily enough, the one that we should let engulf us is the one we view as fleeting. And perhaps this is because we don't experience it as fully as we should. We don't scream out in happiness when we should for fear the public might think us odd however we never fail to quietly cry when the sorrow becomes too much for us to handle - forgetting who's watching.

Thats it for my ramblings.. Let me know your thoughts!

Monday, February 12, 2007

VD Day :p

Sorry for the morbidity! As VDay approaches, I am happily in my little cocoon of solitude - reading books, watching past OC/OTH episodes and trotting around Sri Lanka. I just thought I'll epitomise the feelings of all singletons by this little post.

Surprisingly, I currently don't feel any sadness or emptyness for not having a significant other during this time of year. The sloppy adverts on tv simply waste my time and I get to see the commercial side of an event that perhaps went unnoticed a year or so ago. I watched a movie recently, that kind of reminded me of the ex. However, instead of feeling sad and wanting him back it just made me want to run away from any guy I might potentially like and potentially likes me. I don't see the point of entering into these situations when it comes without doubt that they will entail some serious painful times.

Yes, the eternal optimist in you is screaming out at me - but thats the whole point! Yes, it is. But I would rather spend my time being unattached, without worrying why someone hasn't called me, not wanting to see anyone and have them not wanting to see me, or missing someone even when they are sitting right next to me. The whole concept of growing old with someone and having that support as you grow older and a little bouts of osteoporosis sets in does matter but then you have to deal with that attachment. Attachment leads to all sorts of chaos. What if that person passes away before you after 30 years of marriage? Then you're left with an emptyness that noone could possibly fill within you. Or not. I have no idea!!

Anyways, this year my plan is to finally concentrate on my career. Get myself strong enough to fight the corporate rat race from June. Sort myself out.

Disattachment is the key; but for those who have someone loving and who you love equally back - Congratulations with all my heart!! And I wish you a Happy Sappy Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Culture shocks... in little bouts

I've been watching American Idol for a few years now and been an avid viewer of the UK version 'X Factor'. Sad to say I missed it completely in 2006 due to my travels around the world. I love Simon Cowell - I love his honesty and his typical Brit sarcastic wit! Although would hate to actually be criticised by him!

Anyways, so when I returned to spend a few months in Sri Lanka this time, I have been watching the Sri Lankan version - Sirasa Super Star. Although both highly enjoyable programs for purely its entertainment value, by comparing the two programs you can observe the cultural differences between Sri Lanka and the States.

1) Songs sung/voices present in candidates -

In American Idol, you are guaranteed to be blown away by some people's voices and reduced to giggles (or barrels of laughter) in other cases. Even the worst singer, entertains. Some dance, some scream, others howl and some are incredibly good singers. They sing anything from Marvin Gaye to The Pussycat Dolls! In SS, the female voices are perpetually similar. All high pitched and the only variation being some grate on your nerves whilst others don't. They all sing old songs from the by gone era without considering any of the new songs that artistes have released (and that are more suited to the younger generation's voices). The males generally have a range of pitches and keys therefore a little more enjoyable to listen to. Thus being the reason that in the previous season, the final 12 contestants were all male.

In this case, you can see a nation thats stuck solely in the past. Younger generation in order to connect with the judges (who are all singers in their own right) sing that generation's songs. This is not condemned at all by me however we must try to lift up from the sycophancy and through challenging the normal order can we progress as a nation.

2) The judges and attitudes towards judges

In X factor as well as Idol, you see Simon as the 'mean judge' (who usually states the truth without honey coating it), Paula Abdul as well as Sharon Osbourne act as a pacifier and generally thinks all contestants are 'fabulous' (especially by the last round) however I love both judges. And Randy (who I won't compare to Louis since I reckon Randy is far better than him!). Anyways, these three judges go onto judge in excess of 50,000 candidates.

In SS, last year there were three judges for 7000 candidates, but this year the applicants have increased to 50,000 therefore they have taken on a group of 18 judges to rotate themselves amongst the rounds. This shows the general lacadaisical approach to life by Sri Lankans - although you really can't blame them - who wants to listen to 25,000 screeching female voices to find 12 good ones. (NOTE: Some girls are actually incredibly singers, I dont wish to detract from their talents because of the majority bad ones). Not only does this rotation of judges prove that Sri Lankans can't handle the load but it also hinders equal opportunity towards the candidates. We each vary in the way we hear things therefore if I judge your singing and someone else judges it, we are bound to hear two different things depending on our tastes and therefore you are at a disadvantage. It is a lottery as to whether you'll get a judge who likes your singing or not. As a science graduate, I must definitely show this as a limitation of this experiment :D

Anyways, as far as approaches to judges go, the Sri Lankan reaction shows the innate sense of hospitatility, courtesy that we have. Hardly any leave the judging room without a smile full of humility on their faces. Even if the judges rip their singing, they come out and say they judges know best. Only a mere 2% or so actually comes out and criticise the judges decisions. It shows that we still have respect for those that know better than us. This is a most admirable characteristic in our culture. However, most problems in Sri Lanka tend to come from the fact that sometimes we don't stand up for our causes. We sit back and elect rubbish politicians to handle the war or the economy and smile and take it when they make a mess of it. We bear our problems with a mere shrug and a thought that this is how God intended it.

All in all, both shows are thoroughly enjoyable and the ones that come out at the end are incredible singers. Sometimes moving us to tears with some of their renditions. I am a big fan of a few of the previous SS contestants. Both shows - whatever the composition of canditates or outlook on life, provide an unparalleled opportunity for otherwise unnoticed talent to shine and allow us to experience this talent!

And for this, we are grateful!

With dance we go forth...

The ultimate graceful dancer I have seen is Madhuri Dixit, after which comes a close second Aishwarya Rai. Both Bollywood actresses of extreme beauty and now of effortless grace. India has seven classical dance forms, the one I am most interested is Kathak. Its fluid motions appeals to the senses and the stories that the dancer dictates appeals to the mind. To learn an art form such as this is said to discipline the mind as well as the body.

Since I have a good six months of pretty much nothing to do I am hoping to learn this ancient dance form. I am hoping to find a teacher within Sri Lanka however if none are available with high standards of teaching, I am willing to move to Bangalore to study the dance there. In the east, dances such as this are taken to be spiritual art forms, with 100% dedication required of the dancer in order to achieve high standards. Something like dance bootcamp but you end up with a lot more than how to dance within you.

I recently read a book that asked what would happen to these classical institutions of culture within India and the east once globalisation takes its root and begins to grow. Will they need to be erased to enter into a flatter world or will they spread from country to country? As a Sri Lankan I doubt I can achieve the same graceful and fluid motions that these Indian artistes are so incredibly capable of , as it is in the rhythm is in their blood. This is a statement you would here most often if you come to the East. Certain things are 'in your blood'. In scientific terms, one might think this means it is present in your genes.

I recently sat through a 2 hour Sri Lankan Sinhalese movie and a 3 hour Indian movie. The Sri Lankan was slow, boring and made me want to either sleep or hang myself from the overhead fan numerous times. Whilst the 3 hour Hindi one passed by in such a swift movement and carried me away with it so beautifully I was left speechless at the end of the movie.

I think movies came into being to help people escape reality. When movies are cumbersome, it makes us wonder what these directors are really trying to achieve. Movies are meant to inspire people to better themselves, to become more creative, or to recharge their batteries that have been spent living a weary life. I will go into all this more into greater depth at a later post.

I hope alls well everywhere!!!

Friday, February 02, 2007

A belated look back on 2006

I nicked this from Recent Life of Me blog but I reckon its a cool way to look back and summarise 2006!

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Went to TWO James Blunt concerts and a Snow Patrol concert, refused to get my heart broken, moved house four times in one year, fell in 'like' with someone Ive never met before! Lost myself, start this blog!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? No but will make the same one this year, To go the gym religiously and get myself toned up!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope, thank God

5. What countries did you visit? Aussie, Maldives, India, Sri Lanka and UK

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? A good job that I like and a great group of friends I make an effort with and who makes an effort with me!

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Sept 12th - I stood up for my worth

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making loads of new friends during my Aussie trip

9. What was your biggest failure? Losing myself, my motivation at the beginning of the year thus taking the whole year to find myself again

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Some, backaches, tummy pains, headaches

11. What was the best thing you bought? A ticket to the cinema, FOR ONE

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mate, K--- and my mum's who were my rocks during my time of trouble

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Ex-bf, sometimes my dad

14. Where did most of your money go? LOL if only I could answer this question!!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Meeting my lil nephew for the first time in Melbourne!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2006? Run - Snow Patrol

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? Happier.
II. thinner or fatter? Fatter
III richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Spent less time complaining and more time being productive

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Cried.

22. Did you fall in love in 2006? Almost, stopped myself at the nick of time luckily!

23. How many one-night stands? None!

24. What was your favorite TV program? One Tree Hill

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Probably not. More disappointed in certain people, proud of a whole bunch of other people!

26. What was the best book you read? There were many but Kite Runner by Khalid Hosseinin stands out!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Indie, Alternative Rock, the awesome brit music scene!

28. What did you want and get? To get over my heartbreak. To figure out what to do with my life.

29. What did you want and not get? Things to get better with my ex, a few material possessions

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Pursuit of Happyness, Fanaa

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 22, packed my bags so I can catch my flight back to London in the night

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Gaining a guy I could love and trust

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Comfortable yet trendy - ballet pumps all the way! Embraced that trend I did!

34. What kept you sane? Faith in God, Mum and a Few Good Mates

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Ryan Donowho (LOL)

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The fact that Global warming is not been considered by politicians as an important enough issue!

37. Who did you miss? Myself, and the life I wanted so badly

38. Who was the best new person you met? I met a bunch of awesome people this year, prolly my lil 2 year old nephew is the best!! he made me so happy!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Don't be with someone who has to think twice whether they want to be with you - you are insulting yourself, You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, With the right people around you - even if you lose yourself you find yourself again, Be patient with people - don't take things personally, Value your good friends and don't waste time with people who never mean anything they say.Life is too Short for that!

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: And so this is Christmas, what have we done? Another year's over a New one just begun!