Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Last leg of Aussie tour..

I am finally on my last week of the Aussie tour. It has been thoroughly enjoyable and most challenging! Sydney is BEAUTIFUL!!! When I landed, I was actually awe-struck (I never get awe struck btw not even by London since Im too busy trying to spot all the buildings I work/live/socialise in) - but this was just beautiful! It was like a postcard.. The harbour, the boats, the gorgeous houses with swim pools facing the harbour. STUNNING!

But then calamity struck me once I landed in several ways which I don't wanna go into but it got me thinking, Sydney is beautiful but if I choose it as the city to live in - I might end up in the same situation as I did in London. A gorgeous city but too expensive to fully enjoy and alone again. I got family here but its nothing like the one I got in Melbourne - these ppl are too conservative and old fashioned (with really good hearts tho) but the ones in Melb are closer to me as I grew up with them, they are closer to my age and know that sometimes a girl's gotta wake up at noon, gotta forget to clean her room and gotta GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! After all I'm 23 and not 12 so I don't need people that aren't my parents, parenting me! And after been in London by myself - I am REALLY not used to ANYONE parenting me or trying to baby me. It just irritates me so I've been irritated most days this past few weeks.

Also, I wanna get a house and a car so it might just be too expensive in Sydney to do this. Although its so beautiful and I wish I could start calling it home - I don't want to start making the same mistake again. WHOOSH calamity strikes!

Otherwise, I'm finally leaving pretty Australia and heading back to Sri Lanka on Sunday. Am totally looking forward to going back home (something I haven't felt in two years probably because London was more my home than SL was). I'll be off to India on the last week of December so more flying to do!!!

Stay tuned for more inspiring posts!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

An Ode to Pain

I have been suffering for a good 20 hours now with some serious abdominal pain. I feel like my intestines in my upper and lower right regions are being twisted and poked with needles. Trust me, its MOST painful and I have NOO idea why. I keep thinking its appendicitis but then it doesn't sit well with the rest of the appendicitis symptoms. Even when I sleep I either have to turn sideways and curl up into a foetal position and the last I tried, even that didnt take the pain away. So in utter agony, I tried to take the positive thinking and praying approach and lucky for me, the pain has now slowly subsided. Its still giving me some serious wave cramp pains but its not much compared to what I had before.

So I thought, we never appreciate how utterly PAINLESS our day to day existence (physically) is till something like this happens. I look at the left hadn side of my abdomen and its so peaceful, no pain. But the right hand side is just like a squirming snake. Now that the pain is slightly receding I thought I'd write a little something to celebrate the existence of opposites so we can appreciate them more.

Without bad luck, we will never appreciate good luck,
Without ill health, we will never appreciate wellness
Without poverty, we cannot appreciate wealth
Without hate, we cannot appreciate love
Without sorrow, we cannot appreciate joy
Without death, we cannot appreciate life

If my blessings hold on and the pain recedes into nothing... I promise from here on to take better care of my body and appreciate every day I have with great health

I wish you all the same!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

An old fashioned RANT

This is going to be a post just to get rid of all the things that are annoying me today OUT of my system to stop it further corroding my brain processes!

So, first thing that annoyed me potentially was this:

Im currently staying at my cousin's in Melbourne and apart from my cousin and me, there lives her husband, her 2 yr old baby and her husband's 20 yr old cousin. NOTE: IM 22 going on 23 veeery soon. Anyhow.. this dude has been acting too big for his boots during my stay but I try to be polite - he is perpetually saying things that kind of creeps me out (for eg. when do you plan to get married? like hello! ARGH so infuriating - even if I get married tomorrow, I sure as hell aint marrying him!!!) So, after a week or so of just trying to ignore his presence, I've been feeling bad so I've managed to put up the basic conversation of late and I was actually thinking maybe I totally misjudged his intentions (so to speak) - and then today I get a call from him when I was with my cousins asking me to not say a word to them and whether I'd like to go to a movie with him. I was like errrr.... no, thanks. And I definitely told my cuz about this! I mean it was CREEPY!!! Being the shallow being that I am, if he was decent looking, I would not have minded so much - but he's just so the opposite of what I'll ever find attractive and even more, his personality is an even bigger turn off!! So I've just been feeling really annoyed/irritated/awkward about it! So when he comes home, I try not to talk to him and keep out of his way - I mean, poor dude after all he did get shunned. but the ass comes and asks me if I'm mad at him and blah blah and I'm just like PLSSSS leave me be!! This is all because I'm leaving to Sydney tomorrow.


This is more saddening than annoying at all! My mate who I spoke of a few posts back (the one that broke up with the boyfriend because he wasn't appreciating her enough) well the boyfriend was an equally good friend of mine - More like a brother really and she started getting anal that he and I were friends after him and her breaking up, so I decided to stay away from them ALL for the past year. But I found out today that his mum had died TWO months ago and I had no idea!!! She's been having lung + brain cancer for a few years now and the last I heard was that she was doing a bit better. I felt as if my whole being sank when I heard it today. He is as close to his mum as I am to mine and I can imagine how his entire being must have just fallen apart after that. I hope he's strong. My prayers are with his family. This just makes me FURIOUS at my mate. Who can't put PETTYNESS behind her even in times like this and just TELL me that a friend's mum had died especially since the reason I stayed away was because of HER in the first place!!! I'm going to email him and explain how I had no idea and hopefully since he knows me he will know I'm telling the truth. I just feel rubbish. Like I'm a completely rubbish friend.


I told you all how I've started a lifecoaching course. Well, as part of starting up the business I gotta get some clients to do trial sessions with me and perhaps sign up for long term coaching. I put up some adverts and this lady emailed me and I spent a good two days emailing her real long emails, going through her problems with her, structuring how our coaching would work and I geniunely wanted to help her! I was even going to waive the fees then she sends me this real rude email about how she is a life coach too and how she didn;'t tell me about it and how she can train me and the only way she'll pay me is if I coach her well enough to get her to her goals and if she thinks its satisfactory then, I'll get my pay. I'm so INFURIATED at the fact that she just LIED to me, wasted my time and efforts and I feel used! In the sense that, when I was answering questions so openly and honestly for her, she was using it to assess my worth as a coach!! This made me even want to stop coaching all together but then I thought, if I do that, I'll be letting her and other like minded lunatics like her win. SO, I'm going to keep trying to become a better coach. I will use this experience as just that, experience. So if any of you know anyone who would liked to be coached, pls send them my way!

All in all, I just feel like screaming out at the top of my lungs!!!! PEOPLE are so INFURIATING. They are so narrow minded, petty, rude or harsh OR have completely lost the plot like the one in my first problem.

I feel all the more better after writing all this. I can really see the therapeutic value of a blog now. I apologise if I scared any of you off!!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Musings.. I muse..

I had a most fun weekend here in Melbourne with my mate from school - stayed over at hers and she showed me around the city and the good places to shop and so on and so forth. She insisted she wants to live with me if I ever move to Melbourne to do my Masters - she currently lives with her boyfriend. He's 20, she's 23 and the arrangement is clearly not working out because she is having to mother him through life.

I went to a rather good school where the kids always enjoyed a plush lifestyle and never for once did I think that anyone else - except a few noted exceptions - actually had to struggle to survive after they left home. (Most don't - they plunder their parents money on weekend binges). So when I met my mate again after a year and a half I was heartbroken to find out her situation. She's dropped out of uni and is playing house with this dude. She works in a pancake shop from 5pm to 1am or 10 am to 5pm, 5 days a week. All money she earns goes to paying the rent + utilities and nothing is left for her to enjoy life or buy something for herself. He doesn't let her keep any friends because he's ultra possessive. Although he can go out in the night, she cannot. He treats her as if she's there to do his laundry and clean up after him and overall, it was purely awful to see someone in that state! She can't leave him because she's been with him for 6 years and has no idea of life without him and feels she doesn't have a good enough support network in Melbourne to actually make it on her own and more than that, everytime she says she wants to leave he threatens to ruin his studies or commit suicide!!

Talk about checkmate!

So, I am here rambling about this to figure out why do some men/boys behave like this? Is it difficult to conduct such a serious relationship with someone younger than you at this age? Why do women put up with it? I say now, I would never put up with it but then we all saw how low I fell thanks to my ex over the summer! It takes all the will one has to not run for one's life when one sees a potential partner approaching after hearing and seeing these stories.

How is it that in some relationships love grows from nothing? And in some, the love that was so strong dwindles into nothing? We are back at the same argument about taking for granted! When we grow to believe someone is always going to be there, we automatically manage to stop putting in that much effort and value into little things. Its human nature but it cannot be used as an excuse. If that is the case, then is it not important that we marry our best friends? Someone who we know is going to love us and take care of us and treat us well because they place such importance on our happiness?

In life, we can't live long enough to make all the mistakes. We got to learn from other's mistakes too. As I told my mate, when we look back on our lives we will see the many opportunities we had to make a choice - the different decision that would have changed the course of our life! - and we get this chance very often. So to make sure she makes the choices that she will be proud of when she looks back. And do whats best for her. Because at the end of the day, we are all we have.

Friday, November 03, 2006


Olrite ppl.. Here I go, withstanding the complete writer's block that I have been complaining about I decided to just sit down and write whatever I can possibly think about. From the length of that sentence, you can see that I'm still trying to think and therefore trying to elongate the sentences.

I've been chilling out in Melbourne for the past few weeks. Life's very slow paced here and I've been having some serious homesickness. Thus the previous London entry. Its just that, ever since I was small I've loved historical cities - Paris, Rome, London - you can see these cities have survived harsh times and spurted out great people. The buildings with its ancient stones, large streets, cobbled pavements mixed with the latest metropolitan lifestyles adds a lot of spark to a city. This is lacking in Australia since its such a new country. Melbourne the city has a grid like structure and they are developing it continuously so it has loads of skyscrapers coming about. But I feel it just lacks that spark I so desire in a city. I always considered London, the tube, its roads and its buildings to be my friends and no matter how crappy life can get there - the city is just amazing.

On a better scale (so as not to put off any further visitors to Melbourne), it does have amazing beaches. The ppl have such an easy lifestyle - I think Americans might be more used to this than Brits - where everything has its own pace. Ppl are incredibly friendly - I had a nice chat with a lady at the busstop yesterday about a dress she saw in a magazine which she planned to buy - this will never happen in London. People mind their own business. But here, people acknowledge each other as people. Not as some block in the way of you getting to where you have to be. I have not felt lonely for a single minute here in Aussie land even if I was walking alone in the city. Although, sometimes it will be nice if people didn't stare too much. At first, I was a bit suspicious why they were being so friendly but now I just realise its their way.

I'm off to Sydney on the 17th which should be nice since its meant to be far more metropolitan and water based than Melbourne. So I shall let you all know how that goes.

Other than that, life is super duper! I seem to have broken my writer's block and I'm going to go eat more nice yummy food!

Till next time...


PS. I just read one of my posts from March I think- the friend I spoke of that left me, actually did come back and although we never did get the romance part of it going he is now one of my bestest friends and Im so glad he's in my life. It just all works out for the best doesnt it?! :D