Carry on Loneliness

One of the issues that I have been facing recently (or maybe for a longer time, I've no idea) is that of loneliness. Even when surrounded by people. And no, Im not psychotic. Since I live in a country away from home, I may feel it slightly stronger than some others. But then everyone fights their own battles so I can't assume anything.

Back home, I come from a big group of friends - we always had a system of three best friends each and then the masses of people that come along with such a network. I had my parents and my aunts and cousins always there for comfort or to just sit around with. Then, as life progressed and we all washed away to our respective shores, I found this system slowly dwindling. Life took over and we all changed our attitudes (or perhaps we just grew up) and also grew apart. So now, when I go back home for holidays instead of the 20+ of us who used to hang out, I'm hard pressed to find 3. This is not just me either; everyone feels the same. Maybe it is because we are reluctant to keep company with people we can't relate to too much (time constraints and what not) and thereby we deplete the pool of people to hang out with. Family is still around but as cousins have gone away leading thier own lives having their own children, I find the parents (including my own) all caught up in their own soiree of loneliness. My parent's friends are equally lonely and hope for answers in distant shores. These are the associated problems with braindrains.

So when I come back here, I have my responsibilities, my work, my dreams, my thoughts as so do all my other friends. We can meet and chat and have fun but at the end, we go home alone. Some of us are so innately affected by our work that personalities have begun to change. There's this innate sense of unsatisfaction with life that's eating away at some people.

It just compels you to ask, the old traditional model of a family is no longer the standard. Parents are elsewhere, children are elsewhere. At times, you're family becomes you're friends. And at times, you're family is just you. So what is the new model that we are forming for future generations?

The answer to loneliness is perhaps to accept that we are alone. Someone told me this last year. We can't change that - we are alone. We have friends and family but they are seperate beings. And we must accept this. And from this, we can derive satisfaction and no longer waste our energy in trying so hard not to be alone.

To conclude with, I think this line in the Tegan & Sara song 'Don't Confess' sums it up perfectly- 'I'm not alone; I'm just on my own'

Jetlag and the problems thereof...

It has been ages since my last post: this can be attributed to my impromptu holiday to the sunny isles of Sri Lanka and the Maldives! Since I originate from Sri Lanka, going back was a little dose of happiness in an otherwise confused existence. To return to the gloomy land of London makes me appreciate even more the beauty that exists in this world.

Maldives is a beautiful archipelago of around 1000 islands. The reefs are home to the world's largest array of marine life: I saw 10 black tip sharks and several sting rays not to mention the number of types of fish the corals contain! I guess if I was the diving type I'd find this even more enticing. To me, the fact that I can lounge in a sun bed 3 feet into the ocean and sleep with the water flowing around me is the reason for living.

Being in places like these, with people that love me and care for me, makes me realise that there is SO much more to life than some of us think. We are meant to enjoy our lives not slave away at it. So with all these thoughts in mind, and with my jet lag swiftly setting in, Im going to go and dream about the Maldives and other sunny areas of the world!