Apologies!!

Apologies for my absence!!! Been very busy actually living life as opposed to writing about it which I normally do! Anyways, missed my blog and figured I must at least have another post before March ends. No, I haven't been abducted by the aforementioned abductors!

Life's become pretty fun - after a huge hiatus from the romance scene since the ex, someone has appeared on the scene. Enjoying that butterfly feeling of a new interest and the blossoming of infatuation. I wrote about having no idea how to trust someone again but now I see that I've learnt from the past but not allowing it to stop the future. Well, not yet anyway. There are some complications with the current interest (hereby named X) however, since Im on holiday and am trying to let nothing upset this year, I'm taking them as they come!

Its a short post but just to let everyone know Im alive! and kicking! and hopefully I will get some inspirations to write more!

Intruders

As of late, a recent night in Sri Lanka for an ordinary citizen is a rather vulnerable one. Whilst they are watching tv in the night they might have to accomodate some visitors.

Some who are known to them, family, friends, co-workers.

A number of people - slowly becoming the majority, whilst watching the tv, gets a knock at their door in the middle of the night. An armed group of civil clothed men drag a male from the family (the husband, the 17 yr old teenage boy) into a vehicle and leaves. They never hear from them again. There's a high incidence of bodies being discovered in marshes, rivers, beaches etc.

And then, the newest, a tv channel sends their reporters to houses in the middle of the night, requesting entrance to the house with cameras so that they would be able to see what the people are watching - if its a programme on the channel, they then recieve a prize.

So we Sri Lankans are very social:

Any night we can expect either our friends, a gun (our death) or a washing machine (our luck) to call at our front doors requesting entry.

Any other country offers this?

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY, BLOG!

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!!!!

It's been a really good first year and its being there to document my feelings, rants and thoughts on various experiences since last Feb. I'm really happy that I continued to update it without leaving it after a while!!

Thanks so much to Blu for reading my posts and keeping me motivated to write more! Also to jetblossom, chalice and a few others who I met first on the blogosphere and was a great group of readers!

I wanted to get upto 50 posts this year and I think I managed around 47 so by next Feb, hopefully I'll add at least another 50 or more posts!!

Thanks loads everyone!! and

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Brats and other Sri Lankan societical illnesses

So, another rant post is on its way.

Sri Lanka is a small country with a population of just over 19 million. Colombo, then is a smaller city. Being a third world country with a war situation over the past 21 years, its not wrong to think that the majority of the population lives dismal lives, with a huge gap between the rich and the poor within this country. In Colombo, we find a situation where the country's current situation is only mirrored when the occasional bomb goes off, when we see the army and policemen at check points around the city and when we see the roads barricaded.

In Jaffna (Northern & Eastern Sri Lanka equally), there are people who can't get access to basics such as shampoo, soap, batteries and other essential items to lead a 'normal' life. These aren't the minority who face this situation, it is an entire section of the country. People in Batticaloa (East) live in refugee camps with mud as their floor and a bare canvas as their roof. They live in fear of the gun, fear of abduction and forced recruitment either to the guerilla fractions or to the army. There are 4 people being killed every hour in Sri Lanka. A large part of tsunami victims live without homes, without family members, without a form of employment. In a country, where such a large number of people face one crisis after another, such a large number live in dire poverty and oppression, what do Colombo persons do?

I used to be part of the people who go clubbing every weekend, dinner at 5 star restaurants in the nights, not a care in the world except who did what last night with who. However, as I grew both in age and life experience, it became essential to question this behaviour and whether it is right to do this. Sri Lanka is a small country therefore our nightly joy can be seen by those that suffer, is this right?

A perfect example - HI magazine: a societical magazine that shows the Colombo socialites out and about at their respective cocktail gigs (about 70 pages of this) and the last two pages are dediacted to the occurences around Sri Lanka over that period - women crying, houses burnt and other dismal pictures stare back at you. This is the reality of Sri Lanka. So how can we behave like this does not happen? That it doesnt happen here, where this party is going on, where Im sipping this cocktail - there are people without drinking water in the East. How can we as a nation be so apathetic?

So, someone tried to talk to me about Colombo society today and I wondered whether they were real! How can they even speak about the value of these bimbo females and males that go clubbing to the same spot every week meet the same people speak the same things and presume that their lives were so FULL? YES, if you can afford it, do it. But - where do we draw the line? There has to be a line doesnt there?

This is an ideal example of the strict divide between the rich and the poor in this country. The disillusionment of the masses with the situation in the country cannot be reflected by these individuals. But aren't we living in the same country?

Everyone needs to go out and have a good time. However, this type of societical illness where people go out only to see and be seen in a country that is so afflicted with problems seems a problem that is reflected on a larger scale by the war that is going on in the country which doesn't seem to have a solution in the near future.

Common Cold - bah

I ve been a perpetual sufferer of the common cold - fondly known as the 'cold' all around the world - and its amazing how this virus mutates itself so that it finds new innovative ways of annoying me the moment I think I know it!

I won't go into deep details - otherwise gory, but its just so irritating when I finally think I know how to deal with this cold and how it'll pass, it mutates and starts attacking in a different manner. For the past three years, if I got it, it stays for three days - the middle day being right bad and me sniffling through the minutes and then it goes away. Now, its mutated version being it irritates my nose bed in the middle of the night for around 5 hours and goes away in the morning thus leaving me without sleep and very very annoyed!

For all the advancements of science, I wish they could find a way to eradicate this bug once and for all! Not to say that this deserves more confidence than a cure for cancer or HIV.

Hachchoo, Ill be back soon!

Deep

'Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss?' - asks Kiran Desai in her novel 'Inheritance of Loss', triggering off a thought trend of my own.

We feel loss to the core of our being to the point where we can immerse and lose ourselves within that loss. Where it becomes all consuming and we fail to acknowledge logic or reason. We fail to see reality and the notion that come what may, we will survive. This feeling will last for minutes (least) and years (at the most)

Could we ever feel fulfillment that - fully? (for the lack of a better word?) Could the happiness you derive from having one you love acknowledge their love for you, or the happiness you experience when you get that call offering you your ideal job - ever be felt so completely as you would the sadness of unrequited love or failure? As a species, are we completely immersed in our sorrows that happiness is merely a gap between two sorrows?

We are told by various books, movies, art to live in the moment. Our inability to live in the present without wandering off into the past or future may be the reason behind our elongated sorrows and fleeting happiness. Funnily enough, the one that we should let engulf us is the one we view as fleeting. And perhaps this is because we don't experience it as fully as we should. We don't scream out in happiness when we should for fear the public might think us odd however we never fail to quietly cry when the sorrow becomes too much for us to handle - forgetting who's watching.

Thats it for my ramblings.. Let me know your thoughts!

VD Day :p

Sorry for the morbidity! As VDay approaches, I am happily in my little cocoon of solitude - reading books, watching past OC/OTH episodes and trotting around Sri Lanka. I just thought I'll epitomise the feelings of all singletons by this little post.

Surprisingly, I currently don't feel any sadness or emptyness for not having a significant other during this time of year. The sloppy adverts on tv simply waste my time and I get to see the commercial side of an event that perhaps went unnoticed a year or so ago. I watched a movie recently, that kind of reminded me of the ex. However, instead of feeling sad and wanting him back it just made me want to run away from any guy I might potentially like and potentially likes me. I don't see the point of entering into these situations when it comes without doubt that they will entail some serious painful times.

Yes, the eternal optimist in you is screaming out at me - but thats the whole point! Yes, it is. But I would rather spend my time being unattached, without worrying why someone hasn't called me, not wanting to see anyone and have them not wanting to see me, or missing someone even when they are sitting right next to me. The whole concept of growing old with someone and having that support as you grow older and a little bouts of osteoporosis sets in does matter but then you have to deal with that attachment. Attachment leads to all sorts of chaos. What if that person passes away before you after 30 years of marriage? Then you're left with an emptyness that noone could possibly fill within you. Or not. I have no idea!!

Anyways, this year my plan is to finally concentrate on my career. Get myself strong enough to fight the corporate rat race from June. Sort myself out.

Disattachment is the key; but for those who have someone loving and who you love equally back - Congratulations with all my heart!! And I wish you a Happy Sappy Valentine's Day!

Culture shocks... in little bouts

I've been watching American Idol for a few years now and been an avid viewer of the UK version 'X Factor'. Sad to say I missed it completely in 2006 due to my travels around the world. I love Simon Cowell - I love his honesty and his typical Brit sarcastic wit! Although would hate to actually be criticised by him!

Anyways, so when I returned to spend a few months in Sri Lanka this time, I have been watching the Sri Lankan version - Sirasa Super Star. Although both highly enjoyable programs for purely its entertainment value, by comparing the two programs you can observe the cultural differences between Sri Lanka and the States.

1) Songs sung/voices present in candidates -

In American Idol, you are guaranteed to be blown away by some people's voices and reduced to giggles (or barrels of laughter) in other cases. Even the worst singer, entertains. Some dance, some scream, others howl and some are incredibly good singers. They sing anything from Marvin Gaye to The Pussycat Dolls! In SS, the female voices are perpetually similar. All high pitched and the only variation being some grate on your nerves whilst others don't. They all sing old songs from the by gone era without considering any of the new songs that artistes have released (and that are more suited to the younger generation's voices). The males generally have a range of pitches and keys therefore a little more enjoyable to listen to. Thus being the reason that in the previous season, the final 12 contestants were all male.

In this case, you can see a nation thats stuck solely in the past. Younger generation in order to connect with the judges (who are all singers in their own right) sing that generation's songs. This is not condemned at all by me however we must try to lift up from the sycophancy and through challenging the normal order can we progress as a nation.

2) The judges and attitudes towards judges

In X factor as well as Idol, you see Simon as the 'mean judge' (who usually states the truth without honey coating it), Paula Abdul as well as Sharon Osbourne act as a pacifier and generally thinks all contestants are 'fabulous' (especially by the last round) however I love both judges. And Randy (who I won't compare to Louis since I reckon Randy is far better than him!). Anyways, these three judges go onto judge in excess of 50,000 candidates.

In SS, last year there were three judges for 7000 candidates, but this year the applicants have increased to 50,000 therefore they have taken on a group of 18 judges to rotate themselves amongst the rounds. This shows the general lacadaisical approach to life by Sri Lankans - although you really can't blame them - who wants to listen to 25,000 screeching female voices to find 12 good ones. (NOTE: Some girls are actually incredibly singers, I dont wish to detract from their talents because of the majority bad ones). Not only does this rotation of judges prove that Sri Lankans can't handle the load but it also hinders equal opportunity towards the candidates. We each vary in the way we hear things therefore if I judge your singing and someone else judges it, we are bound to hear two different things depending on our tastes and therefore you are at a disadvantage. It is a lottery as to whether you'll get a judge who likes your singing or not. As a science graduate, I must definitely show this as a limitation of this experiment :D

Anyways, as far as approaches to judges go, the Sri Lankan reaction shows the innate sense of hospitatility, courtesy that we have. Hardly any leave the judging room without a smile full of humility on their faces. Even if the judges rip their singing, they come out and say they judges know best. Only a mere 2% or so actually comes out and criticise the judges decisions. It shows that we still have respect for those that know better than us. This is a most admirable characteristic in our culture. However, most problems in Sri Lanka tend to come from the fact that sometimes we don't stand up for our causes. We sit back and elect rubbish politicians to handle the war or the economy and smile and take it when they make a mess of it. We bear our problems with a mere shrug and a thought that this is how God intended it.

All in all, both shows are thoroughly enjoyable and the ones that come out at the end are incredible singers. Sometimes moving us to tears with some of their renditions. I am a big fan of a few of the previous SS contestants. Both shows - whatever the composition of canditates or outlook on life, provide an unparalleled opportunity for otherwise unnoticed talent to shine and allow us to experience this talent!

And for this, we are grateful!

With dance we go forth...

The ultimate graceful dancer I have seen is Madhuri Dixit, after which comes a close second Aishwarya Rai. Both Bollywood actresses of extreme beauty and now of effortless grace. India has seven classical dance forms, the one I am most interested is Kathak. Its fluid motions appeals to the senses and the stories that the dancer dictates appeals to the mind. To learn an art form such as this is said to discipline the mind as well as the body.

Since I have a good six months of pretty much nothing to do I am hoping to learn this ancient dance form. I am hoping to find a teacher within Sri Lanka however if none are available with high standards of teaching, I am willing to move to Bangalore to study the dance there. In the east, dances such as this are taken to be spiritual art forms, with 100% dedication required of the dancer in order to achieve high standards. Something like dance bootcamp but you end up with a lot more than how to dance within you.

I recently read a book that asked what would happen to these classical institutions of culture within India and the east once globalisation takes its root and begins to grow. Will they need to be erased to enter into a flatter world or will they spread from country to country? As a Sri Lankan I doubt I can achieve the same graceful and fluid motions that these Indian artistes are so incredibly capable of , as it is in the rhythm is in their blood. This is a statement you would here most often if you come to the East. Certain things are 'in your blood'. In scientific terms, one might think this means it is present in your genes.

I recently sat through a 2 hour Sri Lankan Sinhalese movie and a 3 hour Indian movie. The Sri Lankan was slow, boring and made me want to either sleep or hang myself from the overhead fan numerous times. Whilst the 3 hour Hindi one passed by in such a swift movement and carried me away with it so beautifully I was left speechless at the end of the movie.

I think movies came into being to help people escape reality. When movies are cumbersome, it makes us wonder what these directors are really trying to achieve. Movies are meant to inspire people to better themselves, to become more creative, or to recharge their batteries that have been spent living a weary life. I will go into all this more into greater depth at a later post.

I hope alls well everywhere!!!

A belated look back on 2006

I nicked this from Recent Life of Me blog but I reckon its a cool way to look back and summarise 2006!

2006
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? Went to TWO James Blunt concerts and a Snow Patrol concert, refused to get my heart broken, moved house four times in one year, fell in 'like' with someone Ive never met before! Lost myself, start this blog!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? No but will make the same one this year, To go the gym religiously and get myself toned up!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope, thank God

5. What countries did you visit? Aussie, Maldives, India, Sri Lanka and UK

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? A good job that I like and a great group of friends I make an effort with and who makes an effort with me!

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Sept 12th - I stood up for my worth

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making loads of new friends during my Aussie trip

9. What was your biggest failure? Losing myself, my motivation at the beginning of the year thus taking the whole year to find myself again

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Some, backaches, tummy pains, headaches

11. What was the best thing you bought? A ticket to the cinema, FOR ONE

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mate, K--- and my mum's who were my rocks during my time of trouble

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Ex-bf, sometimes my dad

14. Where did most of your money go? LOL if only I could answer this question!!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Meeting my lil nephew for the first time in Melbourne!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2006? Run - Snow Patrol

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder? Happier.
II. thinner or fatter? Fatter
III richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Spent less time complaining and more time being productive

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Cried.

22. Did you fall in love in 2006? Almost, stopped myself at the nick of time luckily!

23. How many one-night stands? None!

24. What was your favorite TV program? One Tree Hill

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Probably not. More disappointed in certain people, proud of a whole bunch of other people!

26. What was the best book you read? There were many but Kite Runner by Khalid Hosseinin stands out!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Indie, Alternative Rock, the awesome brit music scene!

28. What did you want and get? To get over my heartbreak. To figure out what to do with my life.

29. What did you want and not get? Things to get better with my ex, a few material possessions

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Pursuit of Happyness, Fanaa

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 22, packed my bags so I can catch my flight back to London in the night

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Gaining a guy I could love and trust

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Comfortable yet trendy - ballet pumps all the way! Embraced that trend I did!

34. What kept you sane? Faith in God, Mum and a Few Good Mates

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Ryan Donowho (LOL)

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The fact that Global warming is not been considered by politicians as an important enough issue!

37. Who did you miss? Myself, and the life I wanted so badly

38. Who was the best new person you met? I met a bunch of awesome people this year, prolly my lil 2 year old nephew is the best!! he made me so happy!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Don't be with someone who has to think twice whether they want to be with you - you are insulting yourself, You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, With the right people around you - even if you lose yourself you find yourself again, Be patient with people - don't take things personally, Value your good friends and don't waste time with people who never mean anything they say.Life is too Short for that!

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: And so this is Christmas, what have we done? Another year's over a New one just begun!

HERE'S TO 2007 AND ALL ITS SUCCESSES!

London - flying and back

I am so very happy to say that I got the job applied for and will be returning to London at the beginning of July to start employment as an analyst at an investment bank over there! Very very happy! But ever so knackered. The trip was four days and constituted as much evevnts as two weeks would! But overall had a wonderful time.

This particular post is going to be woven around some thoughts I had regarding airline stewardesses and flying during my time in the air.

As a Sri Lankan person flying a Sri Lankan carrier, you would think that perhaps the air hostesses would be a little nice to their fellow countrymen. Technically each airline is servicing their country and then looking towards foreigners for enhanced business opportunities. This is why a British Airways flight from New York to Frankfurt stops in London and a Qatar Airways flight from Singapore to London stops in Doha on the way. Furthermore, an airhostess is present to attend to the needs of the passengers. Were they not there, we could easily get up, pour ourselves a drink and sit back down. Perform CPR on each other or find our own seats in the aircraft.

But at which point, did the air hostess become someone to appeal to for a glass of water?

What I mean is that, during my flight both to and fro from Sri Lanka and in over the 15 flights I've taken over the past year - I have found the majority of air hostesses to be anything BUT friendly. Flying Sri Lankan airlines, you have to press the little call stewardess button a good 5-10 times before an air hostess waddles past. And even then, she fails to see the light or hear the beep which occurs when the button is pressed. So in the event of desperately needing water, you have to resort to practically tripping the hostess when she passes you by to get her attention. Even then, it is around 7/10 times that you actually get the water you ask for.

I remember asking an air hostess for a pen on one of the flights, and being pleasantly surprised when she actually remembered to bring one for me within the next 15 minutes.

Another most annoying thing is meals. I don't know about you but I find it difficult to fall asleep on flights. After a while, I manage to finally doze off after finding a reasonably comfortable space of 1 foot to sleep in - and I get a hostess prodding me awake - for what? to give me a face towel, or give me a glass of water! (How about giving that glass of water when I asked for it in the first place??) This recent flight, there was a lady sitting across the aisle from me and she was happily sleeping away - when the hostess came about with wet towels, continued to prod her awake till she accepted one. Then the same woman fell asleep again to be awoken to be presented a packet of nuts. Its absolutely ludicrous! Where is the sense in these employees? I spent a good 9 hours without being able to sleep and finally dozed off to be awoken by the hostess asking if she could clear my plate. Obviously if Im asleep and the plate is empty - there is nothing else to do but clear it! Unless I wanted to take home the horrendous souvenir for my maid as how NOT to cook a meal!

To get a smile out of any stewardess is a challenging task. Sri Lankan stewardesses are mostly complimentary and full of smiles for westerners and towards Sri Lankans they carry a most haughty air. In this event, they must be reminded that their job is to provide a comfortable journey from our embarkation point to our disembarkation point regardless of colour, religion, race or job description. In the case of other carriers, specially some noted for their irregular dishing out of smiles, you find that the caucasian air hostesses treat any one other than their fellow caucasians with a hint of condescendedness (if there is such a word). Again, if you don;t like serrving people this really isn't the job for you!

But at the same time, I must remember some of the lovely air stewardesses and stewards I've met on my travels. Because of their grumpy counterparts, their optimistic and friendly outlook is further enhanced and remembered with fondness. A flight is a gruelling journey, especially for those on cattle class. And regardless of income, some people choose to travel cattle class since it seems a bit ridiculous to spend extravagant amounts of money on just 11 hours of flying time. Therefore, it is upto airlines to ensure that their employees are trained to be courteous, full of common sense and people who love their jobs. Otherwise, it is us who begins to hate travelling!

Travelling On...

As Blu recommended in a comment to my last post, I'm going to try make the extra effort, to write more in my blog this year!

Starting on, I don't think I said enough about my India trip! So let me elaborate:

I decided to escape the drunken New Year's Eve shananigans in Sri Lanka by heading off to India for the week of 26th-3rd Dec! What a marvellous decision this was! My mum and I went to Chennai (previously known as Madras) first. This is the capital of the South Indian province of Tamil Nadu. Its by the sea however Indian seashore's (apart from Goa) have to be taken with a pinch of salt. There is such a difference between India and Sri Lanka that even uptill now I really cant put my finger on it.

Sri Lankans are more westernised, the roads are full of BMWs and Mercs as well as the huge buses that drive like there's no tomorrow (which is the case for some of the ill fated passengers), there's a more greener, cleaner outlook to Sri Lanka. However, India is such a hub of activity, the people all dress similarly : men - moustache, shirt untucked and trousers and chappels (flip flops), women- sari or salwar. The roads are more chaotic but its a chaos which has an order behind it. The Sri Lankan roads are chaotic solely because the driver behind the wheel has no care in the world other than gettin to the place he is meant to be - no notion of courtesy or such. Indian roads are chaotic yet the people are civil, dusty yet cool, brown yet colourful. Its truly a treat for the senses

I found I enjoyed my trip to India more than I did my one to Aussie. The books are so much cheaper and what a huge number of LARGE bookshops there are! The saris are so beautiful. The food just delicious! India really impressed me this time around - I have been there around 20 times since I was 5 yrs old seen that Sri Lanka and India are neighbours but never was I largely taken up by India than I was this time.

However, you see a country that has developed and is developing at a fast pace.. however, the people are being left behind. They are going at a slower pace than the economy. A fraction of the population now have the capability to work in multinational firms that the Indian economy attracts however, those that do not (such as the large percentage of the population that lives in rural India) gets left behind. So there are many ironies and descrepancies that needs to be sorted out before India really hits the level of a developed nation. But it truly is a nation to be reckoned with!

I strongly urge everyone to visit there..

Im off to London for a week on Wednesday for a job interview so pls pray for me and wish me luck!!

Speak soon xxx

HAPPY NEW YEAR.. N dont go away

Hi all!!

Im sorry I havent posted in so long but its such a mission to load blogger on this network connection!!

HAPPY new year to all.. again! and hope you all had a great start to the New Year!

So far, mine has been good - nothing spectacular but no hassles or worries and life seems to be going decently well! Thank God!

My trip to India was lovely! I enjoyed it immensely. Travelled to Chennai, Bangalore and to a town outside of Bangalore. To see the Indian people, their way of life, the pace at which the country is developing, the sense of culture - it just fills you up inside! And the food is yummy! Of course, I didnt drink the water - mineral water all the way. But the rest of the world better take note: India is definitely stepping up!

This isnt going to be a large post... i will write soon but pls keep reading me and dont go away!

MERRY XMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

WISHING ALL MY LOVELY FRIENDS A MERRY XMAS AND A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR WHERE ALL THE DISAPPOINTMENTS OF THE LAST YEAR IS LEFT BEHIND AND NEW SUCCESSES ARE APLENTY!!!

This is probably my last post for this year since I'm off to India on Wednesday and after that it will be a new year!! I look forward to reading everyones lovely posts and hope you will visit my page to read my rambling ons!

LOTS AND LOTS OF XMAS CHEER TO ALL!!!!!!!!!

Old year, New year, Decisions and Consequences

I apologise for my being silent for a while now.

I came back to Sri Lanka and have been enjoying being at home! So before I even begin to look back at my year, I have to try and make a decision - a big decision - that will determine which way my 2007 will go.

I miss London - I think anyone could have figured that one out by now. Aussie's is great but it's great for a holiday. Neither city - Melbourne nor Sydney - could match upto the vibrancy and cosmopolitan style of London. And once you're used to that - you're doomed. Its like moving from New York to say, Florida. Both great places but great in two different ways. And in the UK, its like moving from London to Nottingham. So, I'm torn. My brain literally feels like mush everytime I start to think about this.

The benefits of Aussie eventually are great but then I literally cringe at the thought of going to live there.

Anyway, so I need to make up my mind!!!

I'm off to India after xmas for a week! Looking forward to that!

This year has been one of mighty big travels!

WISH YOU ALL A VERY MERRY XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!

With who lies the blame?

WARNING: Bit of a serious post

I just finished watching the movie 'Shooting Dogs' with Hugh Dancy and John Hurt. The movie revolved around the 1994 Rwandan genocide. This movie repeated several main factors that were also shown in the movie 'Hotel Rwanda'. For example, the abandonment of the Rwandan people by the UN in the face of apparent danger. But I'm not here to criticise the decision's made in the past. But as one person, to try and draw a lesson from it so that it stops repeating itself over and over again.

The Rwandan genocide occured when the Hutus started massacring the Tutsis. Who are they? They are all Rwandans. Just different tribes. Over 800,000 men, women and children were massacred in broad daylight (and nighttime). So we say okay its Africa, it doesn't happen here. Doesn't it? We saw it in the 1940's - Nazi's slaughtering hundreds thousands of Jews, we saw it in the 50's, 70's and 80's in Sri Lanka. The problem with this is that the international community chooses too carefully which conflicts are brought to its attention and which conflicts are left to resolve themselves. In 1983, in Sri Lanka, thousands of Tamil people were murdered everywhere in the island by the majority Sinhalese. This was - as was the Rwandan - a planned genocide. Lists were made by the massacring parties of the houses and businesses of the minority people and attacked systematically. Houses were burned, people in their cars were set on fire, people were thrown onto tyres and burnt alive, hacked to death, raped, businesses looted.

Why?

There are thousands of reasons you and I and any historian can come up for these massacres, but at the root of them all are two things:

POWER and INSECURITY

People who want power feed on the insecurity of the lower classes to gain it. What are these people's insecurities? Someone will take my job, someone will get a promotion, someone will go abroad, someone will enter govt, someone will be able to feed their children, someone will get a nice house or a car - and that someone won't be me. Humans all need someone to blame. When in reality, they should be blaming corrupt politicians and inefficient governments that can't provide sufficient jobs and a sustainable economy. The politicians knowing that the masses are better diverted elsewhere with their anger and unrest than let the brunt of it fall onto themselves, point their fingers. The Nazi's say the Jews are taking the jobs, The Hutu leaders point the finger at the Tutsis and the Sinhalese politicians pointed it at the Tamil population.

Thus the masses - instead of thinking twice - take up their swords and go amarching.

This isn't a phenomenon of the past. The unrest is still alive. That is why there is no solution to the ethnic problem in Sri Lanka. Generation after generation gets fed the same ideas, thus react the same way to the accusation of corrupt politicians. There has to be a change!

So in this festive season, when all over the world people are celebrating the birth of Christ and the entrance of a brand new year, we must remember the people that have died over the years due to the ignorance of others. We must think of the people in various corners of the world, suffering due to the political greed of their leaders. And we must enable a change.

We must not just hope for peace in this world - but work together to achieve it.

Last leg of Aussie tour..

I am finally on my last week of the Aussie tour. It has been thoroughly enjoyable and most challenging! Sydney is BEAUTIFUL!!! When I landed, I was actually awe-struck (I never get awe struck btw not even by London since Im too busy trying to spot all the buildings I work/live/socialise in) - but this was just beautiful! It was like a postcard.. The harbour, the boats, the gorgeous houses with swim pools facing the harbour. STUNNING!

But then calamity struck me once I landed in several ways which I don't wanna go into but it got me thinking, Sydney is beautiful but if I choose it as the city to live in - I might end up in the same situation as I did in London. A gorgeous city but too expensive to fully enjoy and alone again. I got family here but its nothing like the one I got in Melbourne - these ppl are too conservative and old fashioned (with really good hearts tho) but the ones in Melb are closer to me as I grew up with them, they are closer to my age and know that sometimes a girl's gotta wake up at noon, gotta forget to clean her room and gotta GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! After all I'm 23 and not 12 so I don't need people that aren't my parents, parenting me! And after been in London by myself - I am REALLY not used to ANYONE parenting me or trying to baby me. It just irritates me so I've been irritated most days this past few weeks.

Also, I wanna get a house and a car so it might just be too expensive in Sydney to do this. Although its so beautiful and I wish I could start calling it home - I don't want to start making the same mistake again. WHOOSH calamity strikes!

Otherwise, I'm finally leaving pretty Australia and heading back to Sri Lanka on Sunday. Am totally looking forward to going back home (something I haven't felt in two years probably because London was more my home than SL was). I'll be off to India on the last week of December so more flying to do!!!

Stay tuned for more inspiring posts!

An Ode to Pain

I have been suffering for a good 20 hours now with some serious abdominal pain. I feel like my intestines in my upper and lower right regions are being twisted and poked with needles. Trust me, its MOST painful and I have NOO idea why. I keep thinking its appendicitis but then it doesn't sit well with the rest of the appendicitis symptoms. Even when I sleep I either have to turn sideways and curl up into a foetal position and the last I tried, even that didnt take the pain away. So in utter agony, I tried to take the positive thinking and praying approach and lucky for me, the pain has now slowly subsided. Its still giving me some serious wave cramp pains but its not much compared to what I had before.

So I thought, we never appreciate how utterly PAINLESS our day to day existence (physically) is till something like this happens. I look at the left hadn side of my abdomen and its so peaceful, no pain. But the right hand side is just like a squirming snake. Now that the pain is slightly receding I thought I'd write a little something to celebrate the existence of opposites so we can appreciate them more.

Without bad luck, we will never appreciate good luck,
Without ill health, we will never appreciate wellness
Without poverty, we cannot appreciate wealth
Without hate, we cannot appreciate love
Without sorrow, we cannot appreciate joy
Without death, we cannot appreciate life

If my blessings hold on and the pain recedes into nothing... I promise from here on to take better care of my body and appreciate every day I have with great health

I wish you all the same!

An old fashioned RANT

This is going to be a post just to get rid of all the things that are annoying me today OUT of my system to stop it further corroding my brain processes!

So, first thing that annoyed me potentially was this:

Im currently staying at my cousin's in Melbourne and apart from my cousin and me, there lives her husband, her 2 yr old baby and her husband's 20 yr old cousin. NOTE: IM 22 going on 23 veeery soon. Anyhow.. this dude has been acting too big for his boots during my stay but I try to be polite - he is perpetually saying things that kind of creeps me out (for eg. when do you plan to get married? like hello! ARGH so infuriating - even if I get married tomorrow, I sure as hell aint marrying him!!!) So, after a week or so of just trying to ignore his presence, I've been feeling bad so I've managed to put up the basic conversation of late and I was actually thinking maybe I totally misjudged his intentions (so to speak) - and then today I get a call from him when I was with my cousins asking me to not say a word to them and whether I'd like to go to a movie with him. I was like errrr.... no, thanks. And I definitely told my cuz about this! I mean it was CREEPY!!! Being the shallow being that I am, if he was decent looking, I would not have minded so much - but he's just so the opposite of what I'll ever find attractive and even more, his personality is an even bigger turn off!! So I've just been feeling really annoyed/irritated/awkward about it! So when he comes home, I try not to talk to him and keep out of his way - I mean, poor dude after all he did get shunned. but the ass comes and asks me if I'm mad at him and blah blah and I'm just like PLSSSS leave me be!! This is all because I'm leaving to Sydney tomorrow.

Second:

This is more saddening than annoying at all! My mate who I spoke of a few posts back (the one that broke up with the boyfriend because he wasn't appreciating her enough) well the boyfriend was an equally good friend of mine - More like a brother really and she started getting anal that he and I were friends after him and her breaking up, so I decided to stay away from them ALL for the past year. But I found out today that his mum had died TWO months ago and I had no idea!!! She's been having lung + brain cancer for a few years now and the last I heard was that she was doing a bit better. I felt as if my whole being sank when I heard it today. He is as close to his mum as I am to mine and I can imagine how his entire being must have just fallen apart after that. I hope he's strong. My prayers are with his family. This just makes me FURIOUS at my mate. Who can't put PETTYNESS behind her even in times like this and just TELL me that a friend's mum had died especially since the reason I stayed away was because of HER in the first place!!! I'm going to email him and explain how I had no idea and hopefully since he knows me he will know I'm telling the truth. I just feel rubbish. Like I'm a completely rubbish friend.

Third:

I told you all how I've started a lifecoaching course. Well, as part of starting up the business I gotta get some clients to do trial sessions with me and perhaps sign up for long term coaching. I put up some adverts and this lady emailed me and I spent a good two days emailing her real long emails, going through her problems with her, structuring how our coaching would work and I geniunely wanted to help her! I was even going to waive the fees then she sends me this real rude email about how she is a life coach too and how she didn;'t tell me about it and how she can train me and the only way she'll pay me is if I coach her well enough to get her to her goals and if she thinks its satisfactory then, I'll get my pay. I'm so INFURIATED at the fact that she just LIED to me, wasted my time and efforts and I feel used! In the sense that, when I was answering questions so openly and honestly for her, she was using it to assess my worth as a coach!! This made me even want to stop coaching all together but then I thought, if I do that, I'll be letting her and other like minded lunatics like her win. SO, I'm going to keep trying to become a better coach. I will use this experience as just that, experience. So if any of you know anyone who would liked to be coached, pls send them my way!

All in all, I just feel like screaming out at the top of my lungs!!!! PEOPLE are so INFURIATING. They are so narrow minded, petty, rude or harsh OR have completely lost the plot like the one in my first problem.

I feel all the more better after writing all this. I can really see the therapeutic value of a blog now. I apologise if I scared any of you off!!

Musings.. I muse..

I had a most fun weekend here in Melbourne with my mate from school - stayed over at hers and she showed me around the city and the good places to shop and so on and so forth. She insisted she wants to live with me if I ever move to Melbourne to do my Masters - she currently lives with her boyfriend. He's 20, she's 23 and the arrangement is clearly not working out because she is having to mother him through life.

I went to a rather good school where the kids always enjoyed a plush lifestyle and never for once did I think that anyone else - except a few noted exceptions - actually had to struggle to survive after they left home. (Most don't - they plunder their parents money on weekend binges). So when I met my mate again after a year and a half I was heartbroken to find out her situation. She's dropped out of uni and is playing house with this dude. She works in a pancake shop from 5pm to 1am or 10 am to 5pm, 5 days a week. All money she earns goes to paying the rent + utilities and nothing is left for her to enjoy life or buy something for herself. He doesn't let her keep any friends because he's ultra possessive. Although he can go out in the night, she cannot. He treats her as if she's there to do his laundry and clean up after him and overall, it was purely awful to see someone in that state! She can't leave him because she's been with him for 6 years and has no idea of life without him and feels she doesn't have a good enough support network in Melbourne to actually make it on her own and more than that, everytime she says she wants to leave he threatens to ruin his studies or commit suicide!!

Talk about checkmate!

So, I am here rambling about this to figure out why do some men/boys behave like this? Is it difficult to conduct such a serious relationship with someone younger than you at this age? Why do women put up with it? I say now, I would never put up with it but then we all saw how low I fell thanks to my ex over the summer! It takes all the will one has to not run for one's life when one sees a potential partner approaching after hearing and seeing these stories.

How is it that in some relationships love grows from nothing? And in some, the love that was so strong dwindles into nothing? We are back at the same argument about taking for granted! When we grow to believe someone is always going to be there, we automatically manage to stop putting in that much effort and value into little things. Its human nature but it cannot be used as an excuse. If that is the case, then is it not important that we marry our best friends? Someone who we know is going to love us and take care of us and treat us well because they place such importance on our happiness?

In life, we can't live long enough to make all the mistakes. We got to learn from other's mistakes too. As I told my mate, when we look back on our lives we will see the many opportunities we had to make a choice - the different decision that would have changed the course of our life! - and we get this chance very often. So to make sure she makes the choices that she will be proud of when she looks back. And do whats best for her. Because at the end of the day, we are all we have.