Direction!!

So I've decided I completely need direction. I don't like the direction of my life right now. I mean. warming a chair and staring at a screen for nine hours every day for five days a week can get you a bit dull. And morose.

Career choices continue to be the bane of my existance and I really don't know what to do with myself! I'm in Finance, I studied Science, I would very much love to dabble in journalism/creative writing/politics. 

But that would be a waste of my degree because for further study, I would still like to gain lots of letters after my name that involve the Sciences. A BA in Journalism won't sit well with me because for me education doesn't come free and therefore if I must go abroad and pay for it, I want it to be something that I'm completely certain I want to study about and thats Science. 

But what do I want to do everyday? I'd love to work at a magazine. Not these His and Hellos and Toodles we have in SL but a proper international magazine. It just seems so creative and flourishing (not to mention glamourous but that may just be my perception of Ugly Betty world). Or write a book.

I would love to try journalism in Sri Lanka but of course the threat of Dementors flocking down on me and sucking my soul out is of course an occupational hazard that may deter me from doing so (anonymously I will continue to yell out my opinions here). 

I don't know. Would have really thought I'd have figured this shit out by now! 

For the third year in a row, CATCH UP!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
- I stayed in a relationship for a whole year (and more), I took out some loans, I paid them back! :P

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? No but will make the same one this year, To go the gym religiously and get myself toned up! <--- thats from last year but I HAVE been very good this year so far.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope, but I got to see the lovely babies that were born last year, and they are amaazing lil creatures!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Nope, thank God <--- thank god again

5. What countries did you visit?  India, SL, Singapore, Thailand

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? job satisfaction.. that really eludes me. sense of purpose. and of course, more muscle less fat.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?  Hmm.. it was all a bunch of great days.Even the bad ones

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Keeping the guy i adore with me.

9. What was your biggest failure? Still not being able to find job satisfaction, not hating my boss. etc etc

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing significant

11. What was the best thing you bought? Not a very gadget centric year, I hope to change that in 2009. Probably tickets to Thailand for me n the bf :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mum, my bf, the new gang of friends I made for being such fun ppl

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? some friends who are meant to be close but hv drifted away and maybe my own

14. Where did most of your money go? Lord, if i can answer that one! I ask myself that eeeevery day , but id say mostly rent. and paying back my old employer.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Spending every day with my bf after spending so much time on long distnace!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? that get low song... hilarious!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

I. happier or sadder? Happier.

II. thinner or fatter? Fatter

III richer or poorer? FAR poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? SAVING money, thinking decisions through a lil better, getting less drunk on occasions

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? CRIBBING <---- 2nd time nominee

22. Did you fall in love in 2008? YUP, with the same boy all over again

23. How many one-night stands? None!

24. What was your favorite TV program? Grey's anatomy <--- 2nd year running, also add Heroes and Brothers and Sisters

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Probably not. More disappointed in certain people, proud of a whole bunch of other people!

26. What was the best book you read? Time Travellers Wife

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Stuck to my old tastes

28. What did you want and get? Keep my bf, keep my old friends, make some great new ones

29. What did you want and not get? a raise. and a job im happy in

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Dark Knight, Stardust, a few others

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 24, had a small party and dinner

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Cant ask for anything more than what I received <--- Amen

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? As always, comfortable yet trendy. Missed the shops in London tho

34. What kept you sane? Faith in God, Mum and a Few Good Mates, and the boy

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Sanath Jayasuriya :P

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Sri Lanka's ethnic crisis and political turmoil <-- sadly still there

37. Who did you miss? My bf :( when I was living away from him, my mum wen i was livin away from her

38. Who was the best new person you met? The bunch of friends I have now. fab crowd

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:  Things do get better. There is a way out. All that matters are the people you love and who loves you. 

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:  a sleepy blue ocean

Driving you insane!

On my morning drives to work, I've noticed one major result of the one way road system. Any semblance of order that prevailed in our roads have disintegrated. 

Never are there straight lanes, there are just cars randomly packed together. If a small gap opens, someone turns the wheel in order to get into that space. Defying any geometrical principle that states that going from A to B in a zig zag manner will be less productive than just going straight. (Whatever that principle maybe!). 

Lest the traffic eases up and people are able to drive at a reasonable speed, they completely ignore the brake. We see a car trying to enter from a bylane, we swerve or speed up. We see a car trying to overtake, we swerve. We see a bus hurtling at us at 90mph, we swerve. God forbid if there's a car on the other side trying to overtake. Well, that car will swerve too.

Sri Lankan roads have never been the epitome of orderly traffic. But ever since the one way system was introduced, people seem to have gotten that much out of control! I used to drive but since 2006/7 I have resorted to cabbing it places since 1) a car is way too expensive to buy with 300% tax 2) the checkpoints make it unsafe for a girl to drive in the night 3) the traffic is manic. 

So I am that backseat driver who tries to brake using her imaginary brake. Trust me, Ive been braking more with my imaginary brake than I did when I was using the real thing!

What is wrong with us?!

What next?

The A9 is open. Hands up those who have booked the van for their next/first trip to Jaffna? Hands up those who cancelled the trip to Bentota to frolic instead in the clear blue waters around Point Pedro? Yeah, as I guessed, none. 

Freedom from terror to me means not having to be checked at twenty check points on my way from Colombo 5 to Colombo 6 and asked for my ID. Freedom from terror would mean not being apathetic to the news another bomb has gone off in a train. Freedom from terror would mean not being stuck in traffic jams for hours at end due to a politician more terrified than me travelling 1km away from me. 

It is but delusional to think any of this will change just because the army captures Elephant Pass, Kilinochchi or Mullativu. There can never be any victors in a war. As we celebrate these victories with fireworks, we celebrate too these freedoms we will never have. Sri Lankans will forever live terrified that the next Central Bank attack will be at their building. The next Taj massacre will be at their hotel. 

Sri Lanka is a nurturing ground for terrorists. The tamil people are still, after 25 years of war, being treated as second class citizens of their own country. They are viewed with suspicion and treated with contempt. How many Tamil people do you know that can speak Sinhalese? Now, think how many Sinhalese do you know who can speak Tamil? The discrepancy is wide. Will this suspicion end because the war is over? When the govt has no idea where the LTTE are? 

Will this mean that just because we are able to place Sri Lankan flags and many an army soldier in the land that has been won up north that the Sri Lankan people will be able to finally forget this unncessary issue of language and go about their lives in peace? NO it won't. 

It is NOT ok that Tamil youth are abducted daily all around this country. It wasn't okay when Premadasa did that to the Sinhalese youth suspecting they were JVP and it is NOT ok that it is happening now. It is NOT ok that countless journalists have been harrassed through out the past 3 years for speaking the truth, what the ruling parties don't want to hear. It is NOT ok that our fundamental rights are daily stripped away under the war pretense through the passage of emergency laws. 

Human life is valuable. Whether they are Tamil, Sinhalese or Muslim. Palestinian or Israeli. We have lost more than one generation because of this war. How many more do we sacrifice before realising that its NOT ok?

Evil: Time to take a stand against Sri Lankan fascist regimes

'All that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing'.

Today is a sad day in Sri Lankan history. It is an important day in its history. We have had many an important days in our history however on hindsight, I can only see bad choices, greed, power hungry morons and their decisions that have led us to today. The Sri Lankan Media Ministry was taken under the 'wings' of our President on the 1st of January 2009.

Since then, (a mere 8 days) a gang of 20 armed militants have entered the premises of one of the major independent television networks and set it on fire with the ambition of silencing them. A mere two days after this attack whilst the criticism was still pouring in, one of the key journalists in this country have been gunned down in broad daylight by a gang of 8 bikers. 

What is their common thread? They say things as it is. They report to the people what others fear to do. Lasantha Wickramatunga has time and time again put his life in danger to bring to us what the rest of the media institutions tried to hide. He has built one of the finest investigative journalism units in the country. True, he too has faltered during his career, sometimes bordering on slander and stepping on many a toe, however, it is the fundamental right of a citizen of a democracy to be able to express their views. It is a fundamental right for the truth to be told. 

Lasantha was murdered for allowing us this right. 

The current situation in the country is unacceptable. 

'All that is necessary for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing'. 

We see evil, we see its face, we see its siblings, we see its actions yet we are too afraid to speak up. But we must. Evil throughout the ages has always been brought down by brave people, courageous people time and time again standing up for what is right and what they believe in. This country has gone through turbulent times however we had hope. We had people we could look to as alternative leaders. We had Gamini Dissanayake, we had Lalith Athulathmudali, Ossi Abeygunasekera, Vijay Kumaratunga, R. Premadasa, J.R. Jayawardena, Chandrika Bandaranaike and countless others.

The last three proved to be tyrants themselves however when they reached power they brought with them that glimmer of hope. They had fought against injustices. Who do we have at this moment who will fight against the injustice that is a corrupt government terrorising its own people under the veil of a war? 

Kilinochchi is time and time again utilised as a veil to deflect the sentiments of an emotional public. A reason to commit atrocities that noone can stand upto. We are definitely on the path that Zimbabwe was on aa while back. There is only one way to ensure we do not end up in the same place.

We must stop being apathetic. We MUST take a stand. We must fight.

Postnote: I wasn't going to publish this. It scares me to publish this. But that would mean Lasantha Wickramatunga and countless others would have died in vain. And we cannot have that.